Unfamiliar touch
by Rossie
Summary: Bella's tragic accident leaves her memory lost up to when she was still living with Renee. Can Edward give her reason enough to stay before she fleas to Florida with Renee? check it&review!
1. Chapter 1 Tragedy

_A/N- yea the idea for this story I didn't come up with on my own but I thought it looked cool so u might have read it before, but u havent read it my way:D let me know what you think I love to hear about it_

**_I do not own the twilight series . . . sadly_**

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**BPOV**

I stood on the sidewalk, impatiently tapping my foot to the same rhythm as the cars that flashed past continuously. I felt like everything was moving in slow motion, that all the cars were speeding up, just to get in front of me and then slowing down as they drove past me. I starred hopelessly at the stoplight, willing it to change red. The ground was so icy that I didn't stand a prayer crossing the road at any speed more then the sluggish one that I had been moving at the whole time from the library to the grocery store. Now I was seriously wishing I had just drove there as my body temperature dropped a few degrees. I sighed out my impatience as the stoplight took its sweet time going from green to yellow, where it delayed and blinked a free times to warn the sliming crowd of cars.

_Thwack!_ I groaned, just my luck. All of the books I'd been carrying, all six to be exact, slipped from my hands and scattered all around me. How I wished that Edward was with me right now. He would have been able to get us across faster then I was able to. In fact, he could get me across so fast that no other human would see it happen. I sighed, bending down to pick up the books. Edward had to go on his hunting trips, no matter how much it hurt me to say so. No matter how much the times without him hurt me, brought back the abandonment dreams and bottomless pit feelings, I'd be tough and tell him to get out there and have fun.

It took longer for me to gather up my books then most people would have taken, I slipped and landed on my butt once, the books flying out of my hands again. I cussed and gathered them up a second time. The stoplight was red now and the few cars were stopped as cars from the other direction sped by. I began moving at a pace that would make snails feel fast as I realized that the stoplight was turning yellow for the other cars. That hardly seemed fair, it had taken ages for this one to change . . . I dropped my books, right. My skin flushed with frustration as I slid forward, trying my hardest not to slip and fall when the light turned green. Horns honked impatiently at me and I gave up on walking slowly and tried to walk at a normal pace.

I had taken three normal sized steps and suddenly the ground was gone beneath my feet, I felt as if I was flying in midair, floating on my back as if I was floating on water. I saw my life, ever since I'd moved to Forks and it had really started that is, flash before my eyes. Then it all turned black.


	2. Chapter 2 Awake

_A/N- review and give me ideas/feedback, I needta know whatta fix:D_

**_if only edward was mine . . .;D_**

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**EPOV**

It was perhaps the blackest night I'd ever seen. The mood did nothing to help with that. I sat, my arms wrapped tightly around my knees with my head resting upon them, taking in what would have been nothing but darkness to humans.

The room wasn't really black, there was just a strange tint of violet to everything I saw. The room was still unhindered by the darkness. I was still able to see the bland white room in perfect detail. The shades that were pulled back so I could stare out into the forbidding night were made from the same cheap material as the lumpy bed that was the resting place for my sleeping beauty. The machine to the right of her read that her heart was still beating, her skin was still warm, she looked perfectly healthy. Yet I couldn't get this feeling of something being wrong with her.

It had been nearly a week in a half since she'd been awake. They'd told me that she had a serious concussion that had placed her into a coma. I was terrified. The only time she'd been out for nearly this long was when she was nearly killed by James. It had seemed much worse, her condition. This time, she'd merely slipped and her head had happened to break the fall. How could that cause so much damage? I think that Carlisle was deliberately keeping something from me.

Once again my mind slipped into the daze of what I had gone through before I ended up trapped in here for ten days.

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I was hunting, with Alice and Esme, in the mountains on the outskirts of Canada. We had just picked up on a large group on mountain lions moving north and, naturally, this had me quite thrilled. They were in the midst of hunting themselves, so taking them down was a simple task and I had mine drained before either of them. Alice was in the middle of draining hers when the dreaded image had popped into her head.

Bella. She was lying, lifelessly, on the hard icy intersection between the book store and grocery store. Her head was bleeding, draining out onto the blacktop. People were storming out of their cars to help her, three people on their cell phones, calling for help.

I froze, unable to stop the panic that immediately flowed throughout my body, pricking my frozen heart. _Edward calm down,_ Alice attempted to tell me silently as she searched for a vision telling her that Bella was going to be okay. I was gone before she had to the chance to even show me one of Carlisle coming to her aide.

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I hadn't even bothered to hunt up the car again. I had ran. Ran until the scenery had changed back into the familiar landscaping of Washington and slowly to Forks. I had sprinted all the way into the hospital. I had gone so fast, faster then I ever had remembered, arriving far before Alice and Esme made their entrance.

I had stood there. Throughout all the tests they ran, the surgery as they checked to make sure her brain was undamaged. Luckily, it was. I had been sitting in this exact chair ever since. No one dared to tell me to move, not even Carlisle. They all knew I wouldn't go anywhere until I saw the deep depths of Bella's brown eyes looking into mine again.

Charlie had been in and out. Frantic, worried, stressed. He was taking this nearly as badly as me. He had spent three nights at the hospital before realizing that she wasn't going to wake for awhile. She was in a coma. Jacob, I silenced the growl threatening to surface at the thought of his name, had dropped by every chance he'd gotten. An uncomfortable truce was held between the two of us as I had stood on one side of Bella's bed and him on the other. That was what usually happened after he had arrived and demanded her status.

"_You know this wouldn't have been a worry if I had been with her."_ Jacob had had the nerve to blab once. I had growled in response, even if his words were logical.

If I wasn't so afraid to let Bella out of my sight, and Alice's, then she might have been safe and asleep in my arms at Charlie's house right now. She would have spent the weekend with Jacob and he would have, more or less, protected her. This wouldn't have happened to her at the very least.

The sun was beginning to rise. It made it just above the horizon until it was engulfed in a fury of gray clouds. I sighed. Another day of anxiety. Of waiting for Bella to rise. It was painful.

I stretched my legs to the ground and moved to Bella's bedside, only two steps from where I sat. I pressed my hand against the back of hers. Her warmth was amazing, and I missed it. I missed not being able to hold her tight against my chest as I watched her sleep. She inhaled deeply. I froze.

She shouldn't be doing that, all of her breaths had been even. Then her eyelids fluttered. I watched, anxiously awaiting the moment my eyes would sink into hers. I considered calling Carlisle in, but then the sweet taste of our reunion would be ruined by the tests that Carlisle would immediately call upon Bella. I would wait until she was fully awake.

She sighed as I crouched down onto my knees and held her hand in mine. Her eyes slowly opened. She looked relaxed, sleepy. As she took in her surroundings her expression changed. It left me perplexed. She looked confused and, as her dazed eyes met my face, _scared_.

"How are you feeling, love?" I asked gently, still unaware of why she looked scared.

She didn't pay attention to my question, she was starring down at our hands in silent horror. She tugged and I realized she was withdrawing it. I hide my shock as she looked back up to my face.

Her face turned as pale as me and her terrified whisper racked my brain, "_Who are you?!"_


	3. Chapter 3 Confusion

_A/N- So i wasn't quite sure if I wrote this right. it might be confusing. review, tell me how to fix it:D_

**_No twilight isn't my series:(_**

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BPOV

I was floating again, this time though there was no confusion. No honking horns, no panicked screams, no bitter cold bitting at my cheeks. No this time I was afloat in a dark, weightless pit. Pictures danced behind my close eyes, pictures of my past life here in Forks, and as soon as they switched from one to another I had no reminiscence of ever seeing them. Pictures of the first things I'd seen coming to Forks, the unfamiliar green, my truck, the house, things along those lines. Then I got to the part that I wanted to see most. The first time I'd seen Edward's face, the multitude of times he had saved my life, the meadow, our first kiss, the first night he had stayed . . . Everything up to just days before he left for his latest hunting trip. Intermixed within all of Edward's slides were things of, what I considered, insignificance. My friends from school, Angela, Ben, Mike, Jess, others among them, all with my best friend, Jacob Black. I felt a ping of sadness as I realized that the face I was starring at of Jacob was not happy, it was still in the terrible destroyed expression that I had last seen him wearing when I saw him in the woods. I couldn't even think of him as a traitor anymore. I just felt bad. But no sooner then the others, Jacob's picture vanished and the last slide popped into view. It was vivid and I felt like I needed to blink, although I couldn't, as I looked into what could have been mistaken as the sun.

Edward was smiling at me. His crooked smile that all but dazzled me every time. There seemed to be a light shining from the background now and it sent a million rainbows dancing across his diamond skin as his smile grew bigger. Suddenly his expression shifted, the light dimming enough to make his features look slightly forbidding. He was grimacing at me, his frown growing deeper and deeper as the light behind him faded away until it was a dark, foggy gray again. Then, his skin glowing just enough so that I could still make out his face, he was scowling at me. I was confused, why did he look so mad? I tried to reach out to him, to find my voice and ask what was wrong. His scowl grew deeper, more menacing and filled with anger and then he vanished, smoke blown by a sudden breeze.

I had been so ready to reach out to him, to try to hold to and relax his flawless face, that I felt like I had been tossed over a cliff as my hand reached nothing. I feel, deeper and deeper as it grew darker and darker until it was pitch black. All of the pictures I had seen vanishing from my mind, leaving through my ears to never return. I landed with a solid thud and felt the air leave my system. I inhaled deeply, finally locating my voice box, though I was suddenly unaware of why I'd even been searching for it.

The darkness was gradually being lifted now and I could feel that I had control over my own body again. I attempted to open my eyes, but the lids were heavy and they fluttered shut. I was becoming more aware of my surroundings now.

There was something cold in my hands and, judging by the mute pain in the back of my skull, I guessed it was an ice pack for that. I shifted my legs. The bed I was laying in didn't feel the same as the bed I'd gone to bed in last night. It didn't feel like my warm soft bed in Phoenix, Arizona.

I sighed. What could Renee have done to me now? No, better. What was she doing to herself right now? I worked hard, finally managing to open my sleepy eyes. Whoa.

I blinked once, twice, looking around the room. No. Where was I? What was this place? Last time I had checked my room had been solid white with two large, curtained windows and a beeping monitor next to my bed. I cautiously looked down to my hand that must have been holding ice. It was strange though, the feeling that this ice gave me. It was like electricity continuously being charged up my arm and to my heart. I felt my breathing stop as I looked down to see that it wasn't ice I held, but a hand.

I followed the hand up the arm and into the face of a god. His pale white face was arranged perfectly to match his golden eyes and bronze hair. I had difficultly looking away, but then I remembered he was holding my hand, and I grew scared. Why was this strange, beautiful man hold my hand?

"How are you feeling, love?" his perfect velvet voice caught me off guard, but his words paralyzed me. _Love?_

I instantly looked down at our intertwined hands in horror. Love?! I don't even know him! I tugged at my hand, recoiling it to my chest and placing it in my other to warm it. I was so confused! Why was I in this room with a monitor telling me that my heart was beating? Why was this god-like creature calling me love?! Better yet, who _was_ he?

I could feel all the blood flowing away from my face as I looked up to the man yet again. Through my layers of terror I could only manage a weak whisper that did nothing to hide my fear. "Who _are _you?!"

He stood up starred at me for awhile, seemingly debating with himself. Then, out of the blue, he laughed. His expression softened. "That wasn't nice Bella." he cooed, leaning in so fast that there didn't even seem to be movement between when he was straight and when his face was only inches from mine. I flinched away from his sudden, and unwelcome, closeness. Who was _Bella?_

"Get away from me!" I almost screamed, pushing his face away from mine. He didn't seem to move when I pushed against him, but he withdrew his face all the same. His angelic face look hurt, but I was too scared to care. "Where the hell am I? Who are you?! Who's Bella?!" I tossed off the blankets and threw my feet over the side of the bed. The instant I sat up all the blood rushed to my head and I felt extremely dizzy. I fell back into the bed, still sideways, and waited until I could see through the black splotches that had formed in front of my eyes.

The man was on his knees again and he was starring at me with worry coloring his expression. "_You're_ Bella," he answered, his voice full of nervous anxiety. "And you're in no condition to go walking around." Suddenly I was flipped right again with my blankets covering me again, it had happened so fast that I didn't know how I had ended up there. I took a second to catch my breath before responding.

"Oh no." I scolded, giving him a stern look as I sat up again. I flicked my blankets off of me. "_You_ don't tell _me_ what to do!" I was terrified. No, terrified was an understatement. I had no idea where on earth I was, what I was doing here and what this . . . creature wanted from me. I rushed out of the bed and towards the door, this time the man didn't try to stop me. I reached for the door and started to pull it open when a hand flew from over my shoulder and pushed it shut. I spun and gasped in shock to see the man was standing behind me.

"Bella, what's wrong with you?" he looked sincerely considered and I considered being nice. Considered. My self-defense was overpowering that part of me.

"What's wrong with you?!" I snapped back, trying to pull his hand of the door. Despite the fact that I was pulling with all the muscle I could find in my tiny arms, I couldn't get his hand off the door. "Move your damn hand!" I spun to back to face him, flinching back when I saw how close his face was to mine. He clearly had no intention of letting me go. "Who are you?" I whispered again in fright as he leaned slightly closer to adjust to my withdraw.

"Bella, don't kid with me," he sounded slightly like he was pleading, his beautiful voice agonized. "It's me, Edward? Edward Cullen? . . ." he let his voice fade away as I didn't even attempt to hide the confusion that took over my face.

I gulped, fear enveloping me as reality began drizzling back in and I realized I _was_ Bella. But I lived in Phoenix with my mother, Renee, who just met a new guy named . . . wait I'd seen him so many times before, what was his name? Wait, had I seen him before? Where'd I live again? Oh yeah, Phoenix . . . wait what about Phoenix? Ugh. This was going to be a problem.

I pushed my fear away in attempt to get a few questions answered. "So I'm Bella," I pointed to myself and, jabbing a finger into his chest, I continued. "You're Edward, and we are . . .?" I looked around the room, opening my palms in confusion as I motioned around.

"In a hospital." He finished for me.

A hospital, _what?!_ "Why am I in a hospital?" I demanded, my breathing sped up as part of my memory filed back into place. I had spent the night alone and Renee had gone on her first date with . . . oh! Phil. What could have possibly happened in the house to land me here? Oh no, Renee! "Where's Renee? Is she okay?"

He pulled away and looked me over with anxious eyes. "Renee?" he questioned nervously. Oh no. Not good. I began hyperventilating. He took me by the shoulders as my knees gave out. "Why would you be worried about Renee? She's all the way down in Florida Bella."

Florida?! "What?" I whispered. He'd completely lost me now. "Where am I?"

"Forks, Washington?" he replied, though it came out sounding more like a question. His expression was beginning to replicate some of my horror.

"_WHAT!"_ I screeched. How did I end up here overnight?!

"Bella, Bella, calm down!" his voice was far away. I was losing it. I didn't get this. I was utterly confused and lost. I was in Washington?! Why was Renee in Florida? How could this all happen in one night?!

"Let go of me you beast!" I ripped out of his weakened grip and tore out the door, sprinting down the hallway. "Help! Somebody please, help me!" I ran past a few startled doctors and nurses, but none of them offered me help and I couldn't stop. I started sobbing, I couldn't see through my tears and I could tell I was bridging hysteria. My knees buckled, my feet stepped awkwardly in the way of each other and I tripped, headfirst.

I was caught by cold arms before I had a chance to hit the ground. I could hear the voices of doctors, none of which were familiar. I saw the face of Edward and a man that resembled Edward with the pale skin and gold eyes. He was saying something, I couldn't tell if it was to me, or to Edward. But I was falling again, falling onto my back and into the blackness of the pit I had so safely been floating in before this nightmare had begun.


	4. Chapter 4 Disbelief

_A/N- I had a lil difficulty with this chapter too, R&R:)_

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EPOV

I sat in the chair behind Carlisle's desk, trying to block out what was being thought and said around me. It was no easier listening to Carlisle tell Charlie then it had been when he had told me.

"I'm sorry to tell you this Charlie," Carlisle began in a low, comforting voice just outside his office. "But it appears that Bella has a slight," Lies. "Case of amnesia." _Well, maybe slight is an understatement. _I scoffed at Carlisle's thoughts. "She seems to have forgotten all about life here in Forks," including me my mind hissed. "And she is still having difficulty remembering things about Phoenix. Things about her life with Renee might come back gradually. She has difficulty remembering things when she has a train of thought. Things come and go. But don't worry, we don't think that part will be at all permanent." _Edward, son, we're almost positive about her memory coming back soon too._

Almost. Almost wasn't good enough! I had _never _seen Bella so scared before. So weak and defenseless. I felt like I was starring at her when she was collapsed in front of James' threatening crouch again. She had ran from me, I had never seen her run so fast. I didn't have it in me to stop her, even though I knew I easily could have. In her rush she had tripped and, by then, I had caught her. I was terrified as she looked up and me with such broken and confused eyes. She had passed out as Carlisle had been trying to calm her in my arms.

He'd been running tests on her for a day now, but he had finally found everything he'd been searching for. She was sleeping now. And I would have to wait to see what she'd be like when she woke up, though I was supposed to stay away when she wakes as not to scare her again. This thought tortured me.

Charlie had stiffened in response to what Carlisle had just informed him of. Hmm. He was better at it then I had been. Carlisle had caught me just before I punched the wall in worried frustration. It was unbelievable to think that I had used to want this, for her to forget all about me.

Charlie's mind, as a natural defense, was blocking out everything Carlisle had just told him. He refused to let himself believe Bella had forgotten about her time in Forks, I knew this.

"I . . ." Charlie's mind ran through a list of possible ways to finish his sentence. "Don't understand." was all he could finally manage.

Of course he didn't. I didn't either. The love of my existence just threw me to the dogs. She didn't believe me. How could she not remember _me?_

It hurt just to think about it. The mountain of dark frustration that had clouded my mind while I had been with Bella returned. It won't last forever, I reminded myself. The thing was, Carlisle might say that, but every time after he says it, he instantly starts reciting every Latin word in alphabetical order. He was hiding something from me and I wasn't positive I wished to know what.

"Bella's not going to remember moving here." Carlisle whispered softly to Charlie. "She won't remember much at all actually. So you might not be able to see Bella for a few days until we get here under control and calm." You and me both Charlie.

_He makes my daughter sound like some sort of monster._ Charlie's mind snarled, but he nodded all the same. He was far past being able to speak. "Will she ever come back doc?" he asked so quietly that no one else would have been able to hear it.

"I . . ." _Don't know? Am not positive_? _Hope so? Think so?_ Carlisle debated on what would be best to tell Charlie. I saw how little hope I had. "Hope so." he settled with. Charlie looked down in despair. Nope. Definitely not the right choice of words.

"I'll be back tomorrow then." his voice even quieter now although his voice was screaming in concern and frustration of being kept in the dark. He too could tell there was more to what he was being told. "Keep an eye on my girl. Promise me she'll be okay."

Carlisle looked deep into Charlie's worried eyes. "She's already doing great Charlie. Do not fear for her tonight." Charlie nodded, looking down to the floor, he trudged away slowly. Ugh. Most definitely not the right word choice _again_. Tonight. He just had to add tonight. Obviously there was more! Ugh, I hated it when Carlisle blocked me like this. I sighed, dropping my head into my hands as Carlisle came back into the room.

_Son, she's going to be okay._ He tried comforting me, but there was an edge to his thoughts. I knew there was more meaning to his words.

"Define okay, Carlisle." I snapped, still not looking up at him. He opened his mouth with a slight popping noise and sucked in some air. He was back to thinking Latin again. I groaned. "I know your not telling me something."

_I've told you everything I'm positive on._ He thought weakly before rushing from the room and disappearing into the mixture of loud minds. It was really bothering me now. Carlisle had never kept me in the dark like this before . . .

"Doctor Carlisle?" the small black speaker box on the right corner of Carlisle's desk buzzed with the voice of his nurse. I sighed and reached the over to press the button.

"He just left to check on a patient, what can I tell him?" I asked reluctantly. I hated being the delivery boy.

"Oh, Edward," the nurse stumbled over her words and I suppressed another sigh. "Um, will you please tell Carlisle that Bella's stirring, we think she'll be awake soon."

"Sure thing." I fought against the gaping hole of sadness as waved through me. I wouldn't be able to go see her again. That would just scare her again.

I pushed soundlessly up from the chair and out the door, searching through the thoughts of others to find where Carlisle was. He was just leaving a patient's room four doors down from Bella's room. I worked hard to maintain my human pace as I went down to get him. I didn't want Bella to be afraid again, I only hoped Carlisle could calm her.

_What is it son?_ He thought to me as I approached, though he didn't look up from his clipboard. He said a few quick things to the doctor standing next to him, handing him the clipboard. He waited until the doctor was back inside the patient's room before he looked up for a response.

"Bella's waking." I choked out, still depressed I wouldn't be able to be there to make her feel better. She didn't even know who I _was._

Carlisle nodded. _I'm going to talk to her Edward, to see what she remembers. Please restrain yourself from coming into the room, no matter what we say. Can you do that Edward?_ Of course he doubted that I could sit through him talking to Bella about how she didn't know a thing about me and her.

I took an unnecessary deep breath. "Can I still listen?" I whispered. It was all I could manage if I wanted to keep my voice even.

_Can you?_ He left me to answer that myself as he turned past and walked towards Bella's room. Could I manage to still listen? Could I handle it as she talked about her previous life before meeting me and then draw a complete blank when she was asked of me? My love not even remembering my name, none the less hers. At first I was positive I couldn't . . . but then I realized I could deal with it. She was still Bella, even if she didn't know it.

I went and stationed myself outside her door, sliding down the wall and gripping my knees as I sat.


	5. Chapter 5 What!

_A/N- yeahh I think this is the last chapter of Bella freaking out, don't worry ;) R&R plz:)_

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**BPOV**

This time the blackness didn't feel so safe to me. It felt empty. There were no pictures for me to look at, just a never ending pit of what felt like despair. Even in the darkness I felt confusion. I didn't want to open my eyes again and see what I had seen only too recently. Only I couldn't remember, what had I been so afraid of? No. Not this again! I looked around me, spinning in a circle it felt. There was light coming from behind me, I started towards it.

Leave it to me to trip even in unconsciousness. I should have fell flat on my face, but I didn't stop falling. I would have been screaming if I could have, but once again my voice box was not within reach. I fell farther and farther from the light under I hit a flat surface, this time though I didn't have the wind knocked out of me. I tried to get up and crawl, find a way back towards the light. The light, however, was finding me. I could see it now, appearing to the right of me. I started crawling towards it, realizing that the black was now becoming a hazy gray. Oh no, I was waking up! I tried crawling the other way, I didn't want to wake up, I didn't want to face whatever sat so uneasily in my stomach. There seemed to be some magnetic force pulling me back, back towards the light. The gray haze grew lighter and lighter and I fought the urge to scream for help because I was just in a dream. . . I think. It was awfully vivid. All of the sudden my neck snapped back and my eyes flashed open. The light was blinding me temporarily.

I blinked a few times before I realized that I was starring directly into the lamp above my head. The brightness was giving me a headache. I shook my head and looked around, so confused. The room was white, I was lying on a very lumpy bed with rails and my sheets were all thrown around me, some even off the bed. An annoying beeping monitor was to the assuring me that my heart really was speeding up. Thanks.

Oh! I remembered now. I was at a hospital. Why? I couldn't remember. But I did remember being told I was here, just I didn't remember when and I didn't remember how I'd ended up asleep again. There was something else. Something about Florida and Washington and Arizona. All of them seemed out of place in my head.

I heard the door open slowly and I realized that I had closed my eyes again. They snapped open to see who the intruder was. I blinked in awe.

I felt like I was on some sort of movie, maybe I was, maybe that was why this perfect male model of a doctor was walking my way. Wait, there was something about his skin and eyes . . . I gasped. "No, not you again." Edward right, the man who wouldn't leave me alone . . . what had he said to me again? Where were we when he wouldn't leave me alone? Honestly this was seriously bothering me. I've never had so much trouble remembering things before.

"Calm down Bella," the doctor told me, he stopped only a few steps from the door and put his hands up in a way that told me he wasn't going to approach me unless I asked him too. That made me feel a little better. "I'm your doctor, Carlisle Cullen. I'm surprised you even remember me. How do you feel?"

Carlisle. Nope never heard of him. "I'm sorry, I don't remember you." I whispered, terror slowly seeping back into me. "Should I?" I paused. "I'm Bella right?" I added before he could say anything. Wait, this didn't look like the hospital in Phoenix.

Dr. Cullen smiled warmly and shook his head. "It's perfectly normal for you not to, Bella." he responded, answering both of my questions at once. He took a few cautious steps forward and sat himself into a plastic chair next to my bed. "How are you feeling Bella?" he repeated in a calm, comforting voice.

I looked around, not sure of how to answer this question. I opened my mouth and then closed it and sighed. "Really confused." I admitted feeling blood rush to my cheeks. "Why am I here?"

Dr. Cullen smiled and jotted something down on the clipboard he was holding. "You got a pretty serious bump on your head." he responded slowly, giving me time to digest each word as he said it.

"But . . . how?" I stuttered. I didn't get it! I had been home all night last night and Renee had been out with Phil . . . right? Come to think of it that memory was a little hazy to me, as way everything else I realized.

"Why don't you tell me what you remember, Bella." Dr. Cullen settled back into the chair and crossed one leg over the other, placing the clipboard on the knee and holding the pen in a way that told me he was ready to write.

We spent the next hour and a half listening to me talk. I told him all about my life in Phoenix with Renee. He listened silently, nodding every now and then and asking a few questions, most of them relating to the topic. But as the first hour passed, they started getting slightly confusing. Questions about Charlie, my father, where he lived, what it was like there- which I was unable to answer and he looked worried at that, I'm not sure why- who my friends were, and then finally the question that truly caught me off guard. "Have you ever been in a relationship?"

I gaped at him for a moment. I felt myself blush, turning my face a deep shade of scarlet. Why did he have to ask me this? Does privacy not exist in this hospital? "What does that have to do with anything?" I murmured, looking down at my sheets, pulling at a lose thread.

I heard Dr. Cullen writing down more on his clipboard. "Oh, just my own curiosity." he mumbled back calmly. "So you haven't I take it? That's . . . interesting." I sensed a double meaning in his words, but I didn't bother to go deeper into the topic for I was already far past embarrassed.

"Now is it my turn?" I questioned with slight authority in my voice, I was proud I'd gotten it there. Dr. Cullen met my gaze as I looked up at him with a confused face. "To get answers?" I hinted.

Dr. Cullen looked alarmed, but quickly composed himself. "What do you wish to know Bella?" he answered, his voice too flat, too detached. Not good.

"How did I get this bump on my head, wait it was a bump right?" I was getting very frustrated. This had been going on the whole time I'd been talking with the doctor. I'd be in the middle of saying something, then I'd forget what I was talking about to begin with and he'd have to remind me, but that never did any help really. Plus, every time I did he'd jot down a million things. "And why does that keep happening?! Why can't I carry a train of thought without forgetting completely what I was talking about? And where am I? You never told me I was in Phoenix . . . right?" or did he? I honestly couldn't remember much of what he'd told me.

Dr. Cullen's face flashed concern before he was able to reign it in. "Bella, you fell." he started, saying every word slowly as if he expected me to jump and run at any moment. "It was icy out, you were crossing the road and you slipped and landed on your head." he stopped, watching me again before he continued. I waited silently, using all my will power to keep patient. He sighed. "Can you promise me that you will remain calm when I tell you the rest of your answers?" he looked at me warily.

I didn't bother to hide my shock. I couldn't say anything because I was afraid to know what he was going to say. I nodded weakly.

"You lost your memory, Bella." my breathing began to speed as Dr. Cullen's words came out faster then before. "You're having trouble remembering things, but believe me, you've gotten better over the last hour, so I don't think that part is totally permanent." He paused and then took a deep breath. "Bella, you're in Forks, Washington. You live with your Dad, Charlie and you have for the past year and a half. Your mom lives with her husband, Phil down in Florida. Do you remember any of this Bella?"

I starred at him, my eyes widened at each terrifying word that fell from Dr. Cullen's mouth and echoed into my head. I . . . _what?!_ "I . . . no. . . Not possible!" I was hyperventilating now and I couldn't stop. I could hear the beeping on the monitor growing faster and faster and more and more annoying. My eyes were getting covered in black. I couldn't see, I couldn't hear what the doctor was trying to tell me. "I . . . Forks . . . My _memory?_" were the last words I remembered passing through my panicked lips before I was pushed over the edge yet again and into the black pit that I was becoming to find a sanctuary.


	6. Chapter 6 Charlie

_A/N- hehe this chapter's pretty long, I wasn't able to find a better place to end it:) tell me what you think:)_

**_I don't own a single character in this, they all belong to Stephenie Meyer._**

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**EPOV**

I sat there for what felt like days, maybe weeks, but some part of my brain was keeping tabs that it had only been a few hours. For the first time in over two weeks Bella was sleeping without any tests being run on her. This should have comforted me a little right? Wrong. She had passed out from the truth. And I had overheard what Carlisle had been hiding from me at his moment of weakness.

She would have to go back to live with her mother until she got her memory back. It would be for her own good.

_No!_

I had froze at those thoughts, froze into the statue that I'd been posing as for four hours now. Bella couldn't leave. Carlisle had told me time and time again that it was nothing permanent. Was he _lying_ to me?! No, I couldn't allow myself to think that about my father. I heard Bella shift in her bed. She rolled from her stomach to her back, her breathing shallow. This was always my cue to listen for her soft voice.

I lifted my head and looked around. The hallway was mostly empty except for the occasional doctor or nurse walking from room to room, but no patients were wandering lose or was Carlisle there. This might be my only chance to see her for who knows how long. I was up and into the room in no time at all. I was positive that not even the people walking past had noticed me going into the room, but only noticed that I was no longer there.

She was laying on her back, one leg on top of the sheets, the other covered. One arm was curled the side that she usually curled up into and the other was placed on her forehead. She was having a stressful dream. "Who?" she whispered faintly not stirring from her deep sleep. I silently lowered myself into the plastic chair beside her bed, listening intently.

"Edward?" her voice, as confused as it sounded, saying my name made me feel a strange high. She was dreaming about me. I reminded myself of her stressful pose and automatically my happiness was lost in concern. "Why? . . . No . . . Forks?" her words were full of questions and I realized that she must have been dreaming all about her realization that she had lost her memory. "Renee. . . Edward . . . _Stay away!_" the words were so vile it hurt. No she couldn't have still been referring to me when she said stay away . . .

"Charlie . . . for real? . . . Where?" she continued blabbering. I listened, watching her sleeping expression go from stressed to confused to worried and then back to stressed to repeat the cycle. Almost every word that passed through her lips were questions, just one word questions. There were a lot of why's and where's and what's, but no more then that. I wanted to know so bad what the questions were about. All too soon she sighed and flipped back over to her side and curled up in a ball, but not before one full sentence escaped her lips, "Edward, help me remember. . ."

I sat in awe at the sentence. She had been so vile the rest of her dreaming whenever my name had escaped from her lips and now she was asking me to help her remember? It's just a dream Edward, I reminded myself. I could tell that the best part was over, that she was done talking. I got and slipped out of the room just in time as I heard her sigh and then groan. She would be awake very soon.

I spent the next few days in the hospital, though Carlisle said it was better if I stayed away from Bella until she fully understood and excepted what had happened to her. He also told me not to listen to their conversations when he went to talk to her, but his words never stopped me. The day he had told her about what had happened he went back and spoke to her. She had taken this more calmly and she'd been able to finish two full sentences without forgetting what she'd been talking about. Everyday pretty much she had to be reminded of what had happened to her, each day she took it better and better, remembering almost instantly small parts of what they had talked about the day before. Carlisle said that she was coming along great. This was why he started allowing visitors.

First Charlie came, he seemed terrified of seeing Bella after the reactions he'd heard about from other employees here. They always made everything sound so much more worse then it was. I took my usual position in front of the door and listened to their conversation.

* * *

**BPOV**

I sat up straight in my bed and tried to smooth my hair out as Charlie knocked on the door. He peaked his face through a small creak in the door. I smiled. I swear I hadn't seen him since last summer when he'd come up to visit me, but something in my body felt like I'd seen him so much more then I recalled. "Hello Charlie." I said casually, wondering why he was so hesitant to enter.

He opened the door wider and strode in, something slightly unusual about his walk. He was tired I realized as I took in his old, wrinkly face. There were large bags under his eyes and I could tell he had grown used to fighting to keep them open. He was carrying a small box of chocolates and looking a little sheepish. Obviously I had never stayed this long in the hospital here in Forks, if I had then Charlie would have known better then to buy me chocolates. Wouldn't he have known better then to buy me anything at all?

He placed the box of chocolates on the night stand beside my bed and pulled me into a tight hug. "How are you doing, kid?" he asked into my shoulder. I could tell he'd been worried about me by the relief that radiated in his voice. I wish I remembered living with him. I also wished I actually believed that I lived with him.

"I feel fine Dad." I responded. Wait why was he asking if I was okay again? Okay Bella, focus. Right, I fell on my head. "My head's never felt better." I smiled at him, trying to reassure him.

He pulled away, but didn't let go of my shoulders. He looked me in the eye. "So you don't remember?" he asked warily. His eyes looked full of ancient worry. This was what made me believe that I must have been living with him if he cared this much for me. He used to be Chief Swan and emotionless, that's why I'd always acted that way.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. He let go of my shoulders and sighed, shaking his head.

"No it's fine," he mumbled. "I shouldn't have let you go out all alone when it was that icy. You know that cars will wait for you, even if the people in them aren't happy, they're not going to run you over!"

I starred at him, not comprehending a word he was saying. Wait, who was he again? Charlie! For crying out loud Bella, it's Charlie! I scolded myself inside my head. "What are you taking about?" I asked curiously. What did cars have anything to do with what we'd been talking about?

"Sorry," he sighed, about what? I don't know. "I forgot that you don't remember what happen. You were crossing the street Bells, you slipped and your head broke the fall." It doesn't get icy in Phoenix . . . I'm in Forks! Ugh, I _hated_ this!

I was quiet for awhile as I ran the conversation back through my head. To my relief it wasn't that hard to remember. For the first couple of days with Dr. Cullen it had given me a headache to try and remember, now it didn't hurt a bit. Charlie face grew anxious as the silence grew uncomfortable to him. "Bells?"

I was pulled from my reverie and I looked over to him. "Right," I responded, not fully there as I tried to remember what he'd been telling me. Right my accident . . . oh yeah, Dr. Cullen told me about that a few times. "Oh I know what happened, I just had a little trouble remembering it, Dr. Cullen told me a few times." I smiled sheepishly at his disapproving face.

We spent the rest of the time he was here talking about Renee, Phil and my home here in Forks. I guess Renee ended up marrying Phil and he had to move down to Florida for his baseball career. I had realized that being apart from Phil was driving Renee insane and, being the extremely selfless person that I was, I came up here to live with Charlie so that Renee could go be with Phil. I went to the high school in Forks and I was a good daughter, as Charlie put it. I would go to school in the truck he got me, and then come home, do my homework and cook dinner. Seemed like me.

I did ask him about my friends here in Forks and he looked slightly uncomfortable. He went through a quick list of names, Mike Newton, Jessica Stanley, Angela Weber, Ben Cheney, all of which he said were in the waiting room earlier to visit me but were told to come back tomorrow. Oh joy. And then last was Jacob Black. Charlie said he was my best friend. The name triggered something in my memory. Something from when I was a child. Oh, Charlie's friend Billy Black, his son. I had nodded my head throughout the short list, taking in the tense look on Charlie's face. I knew he wasn't telling me something.

"There's more, isn't there?" I hinted with authority. I wanted to know what I couldn't remember and, by the looks of it, this was a friend that Charlie didn't like.

Charlie sighed. "There's also Alice Cullen." he surrendered. I knew there was more, but I temporarily forgot that I should ask him that. The name Cullen caught me off guard.

"I've heard the last name Cullen before." I recalled and then instantly felt like smacking myself as I remembered that was my doctors name. I cut off Charlie before he had a chance to respond to my stupidity. "That's my doctors name! His daughter?" Charlie smiled sheepishly and nodded.

I didn't have a chance to ask anymore as the door opened and a nurse walked in. "Sorry Chief Swan, visiting times up." she said in a gentle voice as she fussed with her flat red hair, pulling it up into a ponytail. "You can come see her again tomorrow."

Charlie mumbled goodbye and nodded to the nurse. He got up and scurried out the door in what I could tell was relief. The nurse had scurried over to the windows and begun closing the curtains. I hadn't realized it was so dark out. I looked over at the clock above the door. It was almost nine at night. Hmm. Didn't even notice. I also hadn't realized how tired I was. I'd been going to bed early here and waking up just as early. I didn't get to do much on my own. I had had it with sponge baths and I was finally allowed to bath myself, but someone still had to be in the room with me to make sure I wouldn't forget where I was or whatever, plus I had to take a bath, not shower. I also was fed my own food, and I also had someone holding onto my arm as I walked not that that wasn't something I would have needed even if I wasn't recovering from a head wound.

"Time for bed Bella." the nurse told me, gathering my sheets up and tucking them into the bed. She waited until I was reluctantly laying down and then she started to cover me with the blankets. I took them from her hands.

"I can take it from here, thanks." I did _not_ like the hand and foot treatment here. Not. One. Bit. the nurse nodded and murmured some unintelligible and walked out the door, closing it behind her. it wasn't long until I drifted off into sleep.

* * *

**EPOV**

I was standing as the nurse walked in and out. I nodded at her as she greeted me, but otherwise ignored her. I was very annoyed with Charlie. He had the nerve not to tell her about me when I was sitting just outside the door. I had seen the guilt spread across his face as he had walked past me when the nurse had told him it was time to go. I was determined now to grant her the wish that she had asked of me in her sleep just days ago.

I was going to see Bella and she _would_ remember me if it was my last act.


	7. Chapter 7 Visitors

_A/N0 ahaa this chapter makes me a little mad, but I couldnt resist adding it :) oh and btw anonymous reviews are allowed so if u dont have an account u can still review my story:) R&R_

* * *

**BPOV**

I spent the next few days seeing people that I had no memory of in shifts. Angela Weber and Ben Cheney came first. I could tell that I'd gotten along fine with them because Angela was very nice to me. Maybe a little too nice at first as she had tried her hardest to make sure that I didn't have trouble taking in anything she said. We didn't get a chance to talk much because Ben had to get somewhere and apparently the two of them were dating. I meant to ask them if I'd ever had a boyfriend here, I'd been thinking about my first day awake and remembering what that man had told me, though I couldn't remember his name anymore. I had forgotten this fact as soon as Angela said my name and reminded me of who they were.

The next day Jessica Stanley and Mike Newton came. Jessica, I was reminded, was my first friend here in Forks. She was also a very talkative person I collected. When she came in she began blabbering, first about only being able to stay for about twenty minutes because the two of them were going somewhere tonight. She reminded me that her and Mike had been dating on and off over the last couple of months and then she launched herself into a story about something that we once did together. Some movie we saw together or something.

I didn't really get a chance to add much, I just nodded my head and added comments like "Oh, cool." and "Seriously?" when she gave me the opportunity. I could tell Mike was getting as much out of Jessica's talking as I was. After fifteen long minutes of listening to Jessica talk, she excused herself for a quick moment to use the restroom. I nodded in relief and sighed the minute she walked out.

"Has she always been this talkative?" I asked breathlessly, amazed at how many words she'd crammed into my head in fifteen minutes, trying to remember them all but failing miserably. "I can barely remember a thing she said!"

Mike smiled sympathetically at me. "I guess she didn't consider the fact that you're currently having difficulty remembering everything." he paused for a second, smiling thoughtfully at me. "I'm guessing you don't remember that we dated once." he added slyly. There was some kind of smugness about him, but I didn't really pay attention to this, I was surprised.

"So I have had a boyfriend?" I asked, amazed and then quickly added, "Since I've moved here?" I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and tried to look down to hide my blush.

Mike chuckled and nodded his head. "Your dad found out and we had to break up. Sorry about that." he sounded sincere, I believed him.

"Did I still like you?" I couldn't help myself, I was curious. I looked up to study his reaction.

He smiled and shrugged. "I wouldn't know." he responded. "Let me know if you find out." Jessica burst into the room right then, already talking up a storm.

"You wouldn't believe who I just saw out there," she began, and I was surprised she didn't need to take a breath before she continued without stopping. "Edward Cullen! He was sitting outside your door as still as stone and when I came walking back he was like tearing down the hall like someone had just told him the building was going to explode. He looked pissed off! I don't think I've ever really seen a Cullen look that mad before, kind of scary if you ask me. . ." her voice trailed off as the name Edward Cullen reminded me of something. It was something more then of just my doctor being Carlisle Cullen, but I knew something, or someone, more.

Right! Alice Cullen. Charlie had told me that she had been my friend here too. I was pulled from my daze as Jessica came over and patted my arm. "You get better soon, we'll so come and see you again the next chance we get." She left my bedside and headed for the door. "Come on Mike, let's go." Mike paused before following after Jessica.

"I'll be back later this week Bella. Think about what you asked me, see if you can remember anything about _us_." He winked at me before walking out. I felt oddly nauseous.

I starred at the door they'd just left from and thought about it for a second. I had once dated Mike Newton? I'd dated before? Strange. And I knew that Charlie was strict at times, but I was eighteen for crying out loud, he couldn't have made me break up with a boy!

Then there was Cullen. I really wanted to see Alice. I wanted to know if maybe she'd give me more information on her family and why I kept on hearing about the Cullens. It bothered me, not knowing what everyone seemed to tuned in to. It was like there was some joke I was missing that everyone else had heard so many times that it wasn't even funny anymore. A gentle knock on the door made me jump.

The door was open so I could see who it was. A short, petite beautiful girl my age that looked graceful even in stillness. She had pale white skin and gold eyes, just the man that had scared me and my doctor, but she had short black hair that jutted up in all directions. She smiled at me. "Can I come in?"


	8. Chapter 8 Control

_A/N- urghh i wan2 get her out of the hospital. don't worry, not all of the story will be in the hospital. enjoy this one, its short. hope u like it especially jaralrunner, your bound to like it;) R&R_

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**EPOV**

I couldn't believe the hatred I felt towards Mike Newton right now. The very nerve of him to make up such a lie was unbelievable. Vile creatures such as him deserved to die cruel, painful deaths. Come to think of it, that could be arranged! Start with breaking his jaw for saying such words and then crushing each of his limbs so he understood the crushing feeling I had felt when she had asked if she liked him back. Then rip out his heart so he knew exactly how I felt when she had been quiet and thoughtful at his response.

It had taken all of my will power to _just_ walk away from Bella's room after Mike had told her that they'd once _dated._ Jessica had seen me, her mind had been racing. Yet she didn't say a word about how it was truly me and Bella who had dated, no one else had touched a precious hair on Bella's beautiful head.

I stormed to Carlisle's office, passing him without a word even though his mind asked me what was wrong. I snatched my cell phone that I'd left on his desk and quickly hit the speed dial. It had only rung once before it was answered.

"Turn around Mr. Angry." Alice scoffed, snapping her cell phone with an audible _click_. I turned around slowly to face her, my expression must have been deadly because she flinched away. _I saw your little show there. Could you be more out of control?! I was almost positive that you were going to kill Mike Newton! It looked extremely gruesome Edward._ I growled at her thoughts.

_Calm down, if Jazz wasn't on a hunting trip with Emmett I'd call him here right now. Maybe you should consider anger management classes._ She teased, plopping herself down into one of Carlisle's chairs in front of his desk. I was still standing stiffly in front of his desk. A low growl rumbled from deep within my chest as a result to her teasing.

Her face fell. She scowled at me with narrow eyes. _Lighten up will ya? I was kidding._

"How can I 'lighten up' when Bella's in there considering the fact that she might like Mike Newton and _I _can't even hear what she'd thinking!" I snapped, scowling back at her.

_I haven't seen anything about her telling Mike she likes him, cool it, kay? Sheesh. Would it make it any better if I went and talked to her? You said Charlie told her about me._ Alice offered.

I considered this. No, I don't want to be that subtle, but maybe if she just knew who my family was, who I was . . . "Don't tell her that we're in love yet, okay?" I mumbled, too low and fast for human ears to detect.

_Oh pooh, you ruin all the fun._ Alice smirked playfully. _I may suggest that you go home and change and go hunting. I don't know if you've noticed, but you've worn the same five outfits for nearly a month straight! Plus you honestly do look very thirsty._ She looked me over with disapproving eyes.

"When I return I expect you to tell me everything you two say and do, not a detail out of place." I demanded, trying to keep myself from sounding like I was desperate or pleading. I was happy with the amount of authority that came out with the words.

Alice rolled her eyes. _Yeah, yeah._ And she vanished out the door. I sighed and followed after, but heading the opposite way.


	9. Chapter 9 Alice Cullen

_A/N- ohkk soo when you finish reading this chapter plzzz review tell me if u like it or aboslutly hate it, i'm dying to know. it takes five seconds :)_

**_Twilight-Stephenie Meyer_**

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BPOV

I starred at the girl at my door. Pale skin, gold eyes, Cullen. "Are you Allison?" I struggled with myself, trying to remember if it was Allison or Alex or Alice. I couldn't remember though I swear I was just thinking about it.

The girl laughed and walked- more like danced, walking didn't sound graceful enough- over to the side of bed. "Well you got the first two letters right." she smiled wider, probably pleased that I somewhat remembered her. Even though I didn't. She held out her right hand. "I'm Al_ice_ Cullen. I'm surprised you even remotely remember me. I must be unforgettable."

I couldn't help but smile. This girl seemed hyper and fun loving. I don't get why she'd want to be my friend, but it was great to know that I had such good friends here in Forks. I shook her hand which was ice cold. I withdrew my hand in shock. "Your hand's cold." I stated. And then it came back to me. "Where's . . ." I couldn't remember his name, but I wanted to so bad. There was something about him, something about the way that he had looked at me with his fading golden eyes that made me want to know what my history with me had been. "Is Carlisle Cullen your father?" I decided to ask instead.

Alice didn't look very surprised when I withdrew my hand at the coldness, she pulled her hand back casually and put it by her side. "Yes I am." she answered warmly. We kind of starred at each other for a moment after that, me trying to remember her and her trying to make me remember her. After a little while she sighed. "You really don't remember me? At all?" she sounded sad, extremely disappointed. I felt the urge to hug this stranger, to make her feel better.

I shook my head. "I'm so sorry Alice." Her face looked so pathetic when she was sad, it made me feel sick for being the one that had made it that way. I coughed back my tears that were threatening to surface, my face turned bright pink.

"It's okay." Alice said, her face lifting a little as she smiled. The smile failed to reach her eyes. She pulled out something from in the purse I didn't realize she was carrying until now. It was a large book. A scrap book? "I brought this for you, it's yours, from last year. You made it with the presents your parents gave you for your eighteenth birthday." She hopped over the railings on my bed and plopped down crossed legged in front of me as I sat up straight. "I was hoping this will help you remember."

She opened up to the first page and flipped it around so I could see it. There was a picture of a truck that was a faded color red, with big, rounded fenders and a bulbous cab. I knew that it must have been mine, it was so me, and I loved it. The next two pictures were of some things I recognized. First was the front of Charlie's house, then it was my room. There were same wooden floors, peaked ceiling, and yellowed lace curtains that had been there since I was a child, along with the rocking chair in the far corner. There wasn't a crib anymore, a bed rested in its place and a desk had been placed against the near wall. Those were some of the few things that had ever been changed about my room ever since Charlie had lived in that house. The next one was of forest. I looked curiously at the caption.

Forest behind Charlie's.

It read in my messy handwriting. I could tell it was definitely my scrapbook from the handwriting. The next few pages were pictures of what looked like my school friends. There was one of Mike, his mouth full of food, looking up goofily at the camera in shock. A few of Jessica, one of her looking ridiculous and a few of her looking ridiculous with a girl I didn't recognize.

Jessica and Lauren

They were captioned. "Who's Lauren?" I asked, Charlie hadn't mentioned her . . . had he?

"Um, Jess' friend." Alice said, nodding to herself as she half turned the scrape book so she could she. "I wouldn't exactly call you two best friends like we are." She smiled up at me. "She was jealous of you when her crush was one of the many men that were all over you when you first came to school here."

I laughed. "What's this, a parallel universe!" I snorted. Alice raised an eyebrow at me. "First I have a boyfriend here, then I have a million friends and it turns out that I had guys all over me?! I mean come on!" I laughed out loud again, but stopped when she didn't laugh with me. I looked at her, wondering why she wasn't laughing at this irony.

"Bella, I'm not lying about a single thing." she sounded irritated. I blushed and looked away from her penetrating stare. "Here's Angela, Ben and Eric." Alice said, her voice lighter as she flipped the page of the scrap book. We spent the next twenty minutes, maybe even half hour, looking through the scrap book. I couldn't believe all the things that happened here in Forks that never would have happened in Phoenix. It all seemed so surreal.

Finally, Alice got to the end of the section with my home and school friends. The nurse came walking in and I realized that it was actually nine. This shocked me, it had seemed like it was eight thirty only five minutes ago, Alice was so easy for me to talk to. She knew me almost as well as I knew myself, except for right now, when she knew me far better.

"Don't go," I pleaded. I was sick of having to be all alone in this dark room at night. I always go this feeling that someone else was supposed to be in here with me, it gave me an empty feeling in my stomach every time I had to fall asleep without anyone there with me.

Alice smiled at me as she closed the scrap book and leapt gracefully from my lumpy mattress and over the railings landing with such ease that any dancer or gymnast would have shook with envy. She reached a cold hand over an ruffled my hair. "I'll be back tomorrow," she promised happily. Her voice was so sure that I couldn't doubt her. "We still have to finish the scrap book." she reminded me, though I could already feel some of the things that she'd just showed me drifting from my memory.

"And we have to look through the beginning again," I said sheepishly. "I can't remember past Ben's funky comics." Alice and I laughed. I stopped just to listen to hers again. It was beautiful, like wind chimes. I smiled and she leaned in and pecked me on the cheek.

"See you tomorrow Bells!" she sang as she skipped out the door with the nurse, turning and winking at me before she shut off the lights and closed the door behind her. I leaned back into my bed, starring at the darkness. I could tell that my friendship with Alice wouldn't be hard to relocate. Sure the memories of me being friends with her would be hard to find, but actually being friends with her seemed effortless. Angela and Ben seemed nice too, I'd get along fine with them, even if I didn't remember them, they seemed willing enough to be patient. With Jessica it seemed like she was really all too excited the fill me in on everything I couldn't remember. As for Mike, while that was going to be awkward. I was hoping that he didn't like me anymore and I didn't _think_ I liked him anymore either. If either happened then I was positive that Jessica would find a way to kill me.

I sighed and looked up into the darkness as I let my thoughts envelope me, trying to remember everything that had happened that day. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't remember them. I felt hot tears fill my eyes. I _wanted_ to remember! I _wanted_ to rid them all of the disappointed that filled their faces each time I said I didn't remember them. I allowed the tears to come now. They flowed, hot and salty, down my cheek until my eyes, red and sore, ran dry. Not long after I slipped into unconsciousness.


	10. Chapter 10 Promise

_A/N- hehe only one more chapter in the hospital. honestly, i'm excited cuz hospital give me the heebie jeebies:) R&R_

* * *

**EPOV**

I kept it close, simple, hunting only local herds of deer. I hunted fast, taking no more then an hour. I rushed back to the house to change like Alice had requested. I didn't break stride as I ran up to my room. I headed towards my closet when I realized that there was a suitcase resting on my couch that was snuggled beneath the window. I didn't even have to stop to think to know who would have done this. But this would also mean that Alice must be home. I grabbed the medium sized black bag and searched through the minds in the house to find Alice. Esme was downstairs on the computer working on ideas for remodeling her house on the island that Carlisle had bought her so long ago, Rosalie was in her room looking through a magazine, her mind fixated on Emmett's return, Carlisle was in his office, reading some large book with very small words, and Alice was downstairs, sitting on the large white couch that sat in the middle of the other two smaller ones. Waiting for me.

I flew down the stairs and was standing before Alice in a moment. Alice gazed up at me, not at all surprised by my approach. _Hello Edward._ She was smiling. Something had to have gone right.

"Alice." I said curtly. "How did your little talk with Bella come along?" I hinted. Alice's smile widen and she patted the couch next to her. She waited until I was sitting and then she turned to face me, crossing her legs, she unleashed her thoughts on me.

_So I went to go see her and almost automatically she remembers me. Well she didn't get my name right, she called me Allison, but she got the first two letters right at least. I mean I always knew I was unforgettable. _I raised an eyebrow at her. _Okay, so Charlie told her about me, but still, how could she have known I was Alice, huh? So she asked me if Carlisle was my father and I said yes. She didn't like how my hand was so cold. She said that she didn't remember me at all._ She sighed sadly. _And she almost cried cause I probably looked really sad, I sure felt really sad. Humph. My best friend doesn't even remember who I am. Well I showed her some of the scrap book, but I did what you said. I delayed, taking longer then needed to explain detailed stories about all of her school friends. We didn't even reach Jacob yet. She was really sad to see me leave, she wanted me to stay with her, but I left. She's probably asleep now, you can go see her._

I sighed. That sounded so appealing, yet I needed to ask something first. "Did she ask about . . . anyone else in the family?" I couldn't ask my name directly, it would hurt too much when she responded. I expected it though, so it didn't hurt quite as much.

"No." Alice whispered, her voice sympathetic.

I got up, grabbing my suitcase. "Thanks for the suitcase Alice."

_Not a problem, Edward._

"Tomorrow do me a favor will ya?" I tried to keep my voice level.

She looked at me and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"Say something about me, they're releasing her in two days and I plan on going and seeing her once she's home. Carlisle thinks she'll be more stable there."

Alice smirked. _Sure thing bro._

With that I was out the door and in my Volvo. I arrived at the hospital, making a fifteen minute drive in two, and rushed, fast for a human, in through the double doors. I paused at Carlisle's office to toss in my bag, but otherwise didn't break stride while I headed towards Bella's room. I arrived with plenty of time to spare. Bella was lying curled up on her left side, fast asleep. She looked so beautiful and peaceful as she slept soundly.

It made me depressed to have to watch her from such a distance. I missed her warmth against my chest as I held her close in her sleep. It was like instead of me leaving her she had left me, only she had actually _forgotten me._ Those words stung. I sat down in the plastic chair and grabbed at my mid-section. It felt like the monster I'd created in myself was finding its way painfully to the surface, tearing at anything that got in it's way.

I sat for a few hours watching her sleep peacefully. Finally, around one or two in the morning, she flipped onto her back and her right hand swept across her forehead, resting it there. She sighed in contentment. At least her dream today was happy and peaceful instead of stressful like most other nights.

"Alice . . ." she whispered. Her voice was quieter then usual. "Who . . . who is he . . . Alice?" This made me curious. I leaned in, willing her to say more. "Beautiful . . . Cullen boy. . ." I smiled to myself, pretending that she was dreaming about me. I listened for awhile longer. She mumbled about her school friends and things that Alice had told them about. She finally sighed again, I felt a part of me being ripped of to stay with her until she spoke in her sleep again. "Help me remember." She hadn't said this since the first night I'd listened to her talking in the hospital. It brought a pang of hurt echo through my body as I realized that I hadn't been doing this.

She flipped back on her side and curled up. I leaned in cautiously and pressed my lips against her warm head, welcoming the flames that licked my throat at the closeness of her blood. "I will my Bella, I promise." I whispered before placing myself back onto the plastic chair to watch her until she would wake again.

Tomorrow Alice would bring me up in a conversation and the next she'd be home and I'd help her remember. I wasn't going to break my promise.


	11. Chapter 11 Pictures

_A/N- yeah so this chapter's a lil long:) hope you like it all the same R&R plzzz i'm dying to know wht you think!!_

**_twilight is so not mine . . . danggit;)_**

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**BPOV**

I awoke again to the bland white room that I'd spent the last month in. Usually it was a reminder that there were people waiting just outside my doors to do my every command and give me much more attention then I deserved . . . or wanted. I waited in silence as the nurse came in again and opened my curtains.

"Good morning Bella." she said, her voice flat. She was just as tired of the routine as I was. She walked over to me and pushed down the railing on the side opposite of the monitor that's beeping stopped as she detached me from the machine like every other morning. "Ready?"

I nodded and slowly sat up, allowing the blood to rush to my head and make me dizzy. Like every morning the room spun as I slouched off the bed into the nurse's waiting arms. I allowed her to help me to the door but by then the room had stopped spinning as my head adjusted to the blood rush. "Can I wait on my own today?" I pleaded. I was only going to be here for one more morning, shouldn't they be sure I can walk on my own?

The nurse smiled warmly. "Sure darling." She let go of my arm and let me walk without assistance, though she stood by my side to catch me if I fell. Leave it to me to take only three steps before I stumbled over my own feet. This had nothing to do with my injury though, I was just extremely off balance naturally. I blushed as she pulled me upright. I finished walking to the bathroom with her still holding my arm.

The morning went as always. I bathed, ate and then went back to my room. For the first time in the morning, I wasn't tested. Dr. Cullen told me that all the tests were done. I was beside myself with joy. I would be going home soon . . . or what was home before I forgot about it. Charlie came and visited me instead. He assured me that everything would be set up for me when I got home. He stayed until lunch time, watching a game on my tv. I didn't mind it, though I wasn't very interested in watching tv, I just wanted to remember how Charlie acted so I wouldn't be surprised when I got home. Note to self, watches tv a lot.

Charlie left at lunch, promising to be back at noon tomorrow to help me leave. I was extremely excited to hear this. I wanted nothing more then to be rid of the bland white walls that surrounded me every time I turned. I think I was developing claustrophobia.

After lunch I went back to my room to do what I usually did in there, nothing. In my time here I'd discovered that there were exactly fifty four tiles on the floor, twenty six of which were plain white and twenty eight were grayish white. I found this weird, shouldn't they be even? There were three hundred and sixteen dots on every other ceiling tile, on the other there were three hundred six. No one would ever notice that the dots on those were larger then the others unless you'd starred at them for as long as I had. Dr. Cullen had approved of me doing this actually, he said it helped me remember things.

It was a relief now. During meals I'd talk to the nurses and doctors. They all told me it was much less frustrating to talk to me now since I could actually say something, listen and respond without forgetting what they were saying. Of course, I'd have to keep talking the medicine that I'd been on the whole time here when I went home, but I'd be able to do things at home _including _showering and walking on my _own_!

I spent the afternoon finding a nonexisting pattern in the sheets and curtains. In the flow of dull gray lines there was a thicker one, then it was small, small, small, big space, thick. I was so surprised that they hadn't yet sent a suicidal watch on me. Wouldn't anyone consider me getting so bored I'd want to kill myself? I'd considered it.

Finally the clock struck six. I was returning from dinner. It was visiting time, Alice was coming back! I was pleased, I had missed Alice. I could see already why we'd been such good friends previously.

I sat in bed, memorizing the pattern in the sheets again for it had drifted from my mind during dinner. A tap on the door had my head snapping up. "Alice!" I called out in relief the minute I saw her face.

Alice smiled and flitted to my side. "Hello there Bella, how are you feeling today?" She pushed the railing down on my bed and sat down with her feet dangling over the side. It had seemed so much easier for her to do then it did for the nurse who did it everyday . . .

I considered my answers for the question. Relieved, bored, fine, suicidal . . . "Well, in what sense of the word?" I questioned. That would make the answer easier.

Alice laughed her beautiful laugh. I stopped breathing so I could memorize this too, it'd grown so distant overnight. "Are you excited to be leaving tomorrow?" she smirked as she saw my face light up at being reminded that today was my last day in this torturous place.

"More then you could ever imagine." I told her, joy overriding everything else on my face. Alice smirked.

"Well I'll be glad once you get out of here," she agreed, her eyes skimmed across my hospital clothes. "I won't have to stare at you in the same thing everyday. Honestly, it's been torture." I laughed. It'd been no more fun for me to have to wear the same style outfit everyday, especially when it was so uncomfortable.

"Well," Alice smiled and sly smile and pulled the scrap book from her purse. "We have a duty to finish." She giggled at her wording and then opened up to the page we left off on. It was the last page with my school friends.

"Um Alice?" I felt really stupid, I'd already forgotten half the stuff we talked about yesterday. But hey, that's only half. I'm getting somewhere. "I kinda don't remember the first couple pages . . . sorry?"

Alice flipped the book back to the page after Charlie's house. "It's okay Bella, I'm the one who forgot that you'd need to look at everything again seeing as your brain doesn't work right." she teased. I laughed and hit her shoulder, which was extremely hard. I stopped myself from crying out in pain.

We spent another twenty minutes looking over my school friends. It was easier then I had thought to point out who each person was and remember them from yesterday. But that was it, sadly, all I remembered was from yesterday. I still had no reminiscence of my life in Forks.

Alice finally reached a page I didn't recognize from yesterday. This one had a man, he looked possible twenty or even older. He had dark skin and long black hair pulled back into a ponytail. He looked to me like some giant cuddly teddy bear and he was smiling at the camera in a way that told me someone had just said something funny. I looked down at the caption. There was something familiar hidden deep down in his face.

Jacob Black it read. I looked back up at his face. Oh right. This was Billy Black's son, Charlie's old friend. I used to be forced to spend time with Jacob and his sisters when Charlie used to fish with Billy and some of his other friends. I had become friends with him again when I came here?

"_There's also Jacob Black from down in La Push, you two were best friends."_ Words from my conversation with Charlie popped into my head. I smiled proudly for remembering what he had told me. "That's Jacob Black," I announced, pointing at the picture. "He's my best friend from La Push, right?"

Alice, who had been watching me patiently as I dug through my memory, grimaced at these words. "You could say that." she scoffed. Something about her reaction told me she didn't like him very much. I decided not to push it.

I looked to the picture next to Jacob. In this one Jacob had his arm wrapped around my shoulder and I had one hand on his chest, attempting to push him away, but by the look on my face I was laughing too hard to do it. Jacob looked different in this picture, taller-if that was possible- and more tired. There were large bags under his eyes that gave the impression that he hadn't slept well for days.

Stupid Jacob was the caption of this one. It made me sad, not to remember what was happening in this picture. It looked like it had been a good time. Alice remained silent, lips pursed, as I looked through the next few pages of pictures. There were two full pages of just me and Jacob goofing off with the camera and then other people came into the pictures. Quite a few other boys that looked a lot like Jacob, all of whom I didn't recognize one bit and who's names weren't in the captions. I didn't want to ask Alice who they were in fear that she might get mad and leave, she looked about ready to.

I looked through these pages fast, only pausing for one or two seconds to examine each picture until I came to one that made me stop. I was standing next to Jacob, he had one arm around my shoulder and on his other side was a blonde girl. She looked like she must have been beautiful, before whatever happened to her face. She had scars running from her right forehead, down her eye and halfway across her cheek and a scar on her left side that pulled down on her lips, giving her a permanent scowl. I looked up, about to ask Alice what this was, but she was scowling at the page, a look of disgust across her face, so I decided to wait until later.

I started to flip the page, but Alice's hand caught mine and made me stop. I looked up to see her expression had lightened and there was a sly smile across her face. "I want to give introductions for this part." she informed me, picking up the book. She flipped the page. "Introducing the Cullen family."

She turned the book to me so I could see the pictures clearly. The first one was of me and her. We were laying on a white carpet with a magazine in front of us. Whatever the magazine was about, it had captured Alice's full attention and I was looking up at the camera with my tongue sticking out. I was on the bridge of bursting out laughing, but I seemed to be holding it in like Alice didn't know the picture was being taken.

"This is Emmett, and that's Jasper." I looked down at the pictures she was pointing at. Emmett had curly brown hair and big dimples which took some away some of the menace in his muscular body. Jasper was a tall blonde who was muscular, yet not as muscular as Emmett. His arms and neck were covered with crescent shaped scars. The picture of Jasper had Alice in it too, she was leaning into him and he had one arm wrapped around her waist. I looked up expectantly for details. "Jasper's my . . . my boyfriend." she stammered. I could tell there was more, but I let slide. I wanted to know who the rest of the Cullen family was. I was anxious to see the one that seemed like a distant dream to me.

Alice showed me her mother, Esme. She had a heart shaped face that was pulled into the sweetest smile I'd seen on all of the Cullens, I could tell that she was nice. There were a few pictures with Dr. Cullen in them, who Alice told me to refer to as Carlisle, not Dr. Cullen. There was one picture were no one was smiling happily, it was of a beautiful blonde girl. She was glaring angrily at the camera, her lips parted. I could tell that she must have been yelling at the person with the camera. "That would be Rosalie." Alice scoffed disapprovingly at the picture. "Let's just say you guys didn't always get along, no matter how nice you treat her." I just nodded and tried to pull my eyes away from the penetrating glare that was glued to her face. Suddenly the scrap book disappeared from in front of my eyes. I looked up, Alice was nervously eying the next page. I raised one eyebrow suspiciously.

She took a deep breath. "Promise me that you'll try to stay calm for these next few pictures and give me a chance to explain." I was extremely curious now. What could be so bad? I nodded, afraid that my voice might break from anxiety.

She sighed like she didn't believe me and flipped the book around for me to see. I felt my breath leave me in a sharp huff. I fought to get it back before Alice could notice as I starred in the golden eyes that had scared me more then anything else on the first day I awoke. The god-like Cullen with bronze hair was sitting on a piano bench, his hands resting on the keys. His crooked smile was so beautiful it might have been breath taking if I wasn't already breathless with fear at the memory of my waking. I fought for control before I could hyperventilate. "Who?" was the only word I could manage.

Alice gave me a second to slow my breathing before she spoke. "That's Edward." she said, her words slow and decisive. I nodded slowly as she revealed the next picture. I felt faint.

It was of Edward . . . and me. I was blushing deeply and smiling sheepishly at the camera as Edward stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist as he pressed his lips to my hair. _WHAT?!_ "We . . . I . . .him . . ." I stuttered. _We were a couple!_ "He . . . he wasn't lying then?" No. No way on earth did I manage to get a guy like _that!_ "No, that . . . that's impossible." I pushed the pictures away from me. I was relieved to see that the nurse was entering the room. It was nine, time for Alice to leave.

Alice scowled. "Bella, this pictures true whether you believe it or not." she whispered just loud enough for only me to hear.

"Leave Alice." I snapped. It couldn't possible be true. I wasn't going to be fed lies. Her scowl deepened but she picked up the scrap book and dropped it into her purse. She started stomping gracefully, if that was possible, towards the door. I didn't want her to leave angry. "You'll come back tomorrow though, right Alice?" I wanted to know everyone before I went back to school and I still couldn't remember everything I'd just seen clearly.

Alice snapped an angry look in my direction, but stopped short as she caught my broken expression. She sighed. "Yeah, yeah." she smirked, though the smile didn't reach her eyes. She flitted back and pecked my cheek again. "I'll see you tomorrow at Charlie's." she reminded me. I smiled widely, I'd forgotten that this was my last night in this bland dungeon.

"Great." I agreed. I watched Alice skip from the room and leaned back against my mattress, pulling my sheets with me. The nurse smiled at me and walked out the door, turning off the light and closing the doors behind. I sighed and allowed myself to drift to sleep without thinking about anything that had just happened. Tomorrow I'd be free.


	12. Chapter 12 Freedom

_A/N- i have to admit i'm surprised by the amount of people reading my little story! now if only i could get that many people reviewing ;)_

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**BPOV**

The moment I realized that I was in control of body again I snapped my eyes open. The nurse had just walked into the room and was opening the curtains. She had a huge smile planted on her face that was probably an echo of what mine looked like. She came over and pushed down the railing. "Let's see you do this on your own this time." she said. Those were like magic words. I sat up and flung my legs over the side with excitement. I ignored the blood that rushed to my head and made me feel dizzy and touched my feet to the cold floor. I shivered like every other morning, but this time the shiver was much more filled with excitement then fear of another boring day of nothingness.

The nurse walked beside me as I walked towards the door with ease. I stumbled a little as I reached the door, but I grabbed the handle to steady myself before she could notice. I walked along proudly as I made my way to the bathroom. I felt like a free women already with just the knowledge that this was the last morning like this for awhile. I pushed the bathroom door in and rushed into the shower. It was amazing. I'd been taking baths for three weeks straight and it felt so much better to be standing.

When I got out I noticed that there was clothes on the sink across from the shower. On top of the material was a note. Bella, it read

I noticed that you had no clothes to wear when you leave the hospital so I thought I'd get you a little something. You'll look gorgeous in this.

Love, Alice

I couldn't help but to be afraid of what Alice had gotten me to wear. From what I gathered, she was a bit of a fashion diva. I pulled up a long blue shirt and black leggings. I starred at the shirt in mute horror as I realized that it was supposed to be sort of like a dress and that the black leggings were the pants. "Alice." I groaned miserably as I pulled them on. The shirt or whatever it was supposed to be barely covered my butt it felt. I reminded myself to take Alice out about this later as I pulled on the black sweater she'd also included.

I ate breakfast happily, talking to the doctors and nurses that I usually did. This time though, they were all saying farewells. I was glad to have most of those out of the way. I wanted to leave the very minute that Charlie arrived to take me home.

After breakfast I requested if I could go on a walk. My usual nurse agreed for she had nothing else to do really. We walked around the hospital, without any help for me. Eventually, she suggested that we go outside. The idea sounded so appealing that I almost screamed yes. It was overcast and slightly chilly outside, but there was so much color!

There was forest surrounding three walls of the building and that's where we walked. Each tree was a rich, deep green growing tall, calling the rain down. I could see small animals running among the trees. On the edge of the forests, right before the trees, where rows of wild flowers. They ranged from blue, yellow, purple, orange and red. I found myself zoning out on them as the nurse tried to make small talk. I tried hard to pay attention to what she was saying so that she wouldn't think that I was forgetting things still. I still found it hard to believe that this was where I'd been spending my last year and a half.

Sadly it began to rain. My nurse held tight to my arm and rushed me inside. I wished that she would have let me run on my own. Practice makes perfect. Besides I hated it when people gave me so much attention. Once we were safe inside the dry hospital the nurse let go of me and we continued walking down the halls. We reached my hallway and I sighed. I still had an hour before I left. I didn't want to sit there for that long.

"Charlotte?" I turned, despite the fact that they were calling for my nurse not me. Carlisle was standing outside a patient's room that we'd just passed. "Could you come here for a moment, we need an extra hand." He disappeared back into the room.

"Stay here, okay Bella?" I nodded reluctantly. No I couldn't walk all the way down to the end of the hall without help just because I stumbled five or six times. . . Since we got back inside. I leaned against the wall waiting for a few seconds. Well, I think that I could make it to the end of the hallway and back before she finished . . .

I started walking down the hallway. It felt great to be able to walk without having someone standing next to me with their hands outstretched, ready to grab me if I even shook a little. I thought about the rain outside. It made a strange pitter-patter noise on the roof that I didn't hear much in Phoenix. I couldn't tell if I liked it or not. It reminded me that I had really wanted to run when I was coming inside. I looked around. I could get back to the room where my nurse was faster if I ran . . .

I had reached the end of the hallway and I turned, smiling to myself, I broke into a run. I felt like I was flying for a moment, like I was free. It felt amazing to be able to move at such speed again. Then I felt my foot hit my other. This wasn't going to end good. The ground shook, I stumbled forward, trying to steady myself. The ground came crashing towards my face at a strange angle. I closed my eyes and prepared for impact. I reopened them when it never came. I gasped in shock.

I had been caught by the cold hands of the man that brought me panic attacks. I looked into his golden eyes in fear, his face was closer then I would have preferred and for some reason I couldn't flinch away. He smiled a warm crooked smile at me and I fought to keep from smiling back like my body wanted me too. It was like it knew something that my mind didn't.

"You might want to take it a little slower there." he whispered. I couldn't help but inhale the sweet aroma of his breath. "In case you don't remember, you've never been very light on your feet." I scowled at him and he smiled crookedly again. It was going to be hard to stay mad at this stranger.

"I can remember thank you." I snapped sourly, trying to push away and stand up. He chuckled and pulled me gently to my feet.

"I can see you still aren't able to remember me clearly?" he questioned softly, his angelic face falling a little bit at the realization.

"I remember you _perfectly_." I scoffed. "You nearly gave me a heart attack when I first woke up." He grimaced.

"I never fully apologized for that," he said keeping his voice light. "I'm very sorry that I scared you Bella. Let me introduce myself, I'm Edward Cullen." his voice took a mocking edge at the end of it despite his efforts to hide it. He released all of me but my hand which he shook.

I couldn't help it, I smirked a little. "I know who you are." I murmured, trying to keep my voice stern. His returning smile was dazzling.

"Good." he said happily. I realized that my hand was still locked in his cold hand. I blushed and pulled it out. I looked around the hospital and sighed. I still had a good fifty minutes stranded here. "You look lovely in that shade of blue by the way." My face burned a deeper scarlet.

"Alice forced this upon me." I mumbled without meeting his eyes. "You know, your impossible little sister." Edward laughed at that, I looked up in surprise. And I had thought that Alice's laugh was enchanting.

"Couldn't agree more," he sighed. "And believe me, she only gets worse." I scoffed at the idea as I looked down at the oversized shirt in disapproval.

Carlisle and my nurse came walking out of the patients room deep in conversation. Edward met eyes with Carlisle for a moment before he looked back to the nurse. "Guess you're getting out early then planned." Edward informed me. I looked at him with a puzzled expression. "Would you like a ride home?"


	13. Chapter 13 Absurd

_A/N- i'd like to thank jaralrunner for all their support and persistence i'll keep writing if I have ppl like that continuously reviewing:) _

**_just in case you don't know, I dont own twilight. . . awh mannn:(_**

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**EPOV**

It took a fair bit of will power to keep from reaching over and holding Bella's warm, delicate hand in mine as I helped her out of the hospital and towards my Volvo. I could only hope that my love was faking this reluctance she had as she accepted my ride home mumbling something about just wanting to be freed of this place. I couldn't blame her, she wasn't the only one who'd spent the last month rotting away in the hospital, though I wasn't about to tell her this. I'd never really known Bella to hold grudges. I'd give anything to get a peak into her mind and see why she was so angry with me.

I held the door open for her. She looked at me with curious eyes before sliding into the passenger seat. I stifled a laugh at how funny she looked as she struggled with her outfit. As much as she must hate it, Bella should know that she looked beautiful in that lovely shade of blue. It was almost the same color of the shirt that she had that I loved so much. The bad thing was how this outfit showed off the finer points of her features, making me feel even worse that she didn't remember me. I wanted so badly to hold her close and kiss her.

I shut her door and walked over to my side at a sluggish human pace. Her deep brown eyes followed me as I sat down next to her in the drivers seat. I smiled at her, careful not to show any of my sharper teeth. I saw a smile dance on the corners of her mouth before she turned her head to me and huffed. I sighed quietly and started the car. I couldn't help but wonder how long it'd be until she'd believe that we truly were dating before her tragic accident?

"How are you today, Bella?" I asked conversationally as I drove out of the parking lot.

"Better now that I'm freed of that wretched hospital," she replied without looking away from the window. "They should really consider getting more color in there, don't you think?"

I smirked. Yes many patients have complained about the lack of color in the hospital. Makes them feel trapped, dreary. "I'll have to bring that to Carlisle's attention." I agreed. She looked away from the wet window, her curious brown eyes scanning my face.

"Why?" she whispered.

This caught me off guard. I quickly located a calm voice before answering. "Why what?" I was having difficulty not referring to her as love.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked.

I looked at her incoherently. "Giving you a ride home?" I asked, confused.

She nodded, blushing. She let her eyes wander around the car as she stalled meeting mine again. Suddenly she froze and grabbed the seat. "OH MY GOD SLOW DOWN!" She screeched on the top of her lungs before she began to hyperventilate.

I slowly eased up on the gas peddle. As much I would have loved to tell her that there was no worry about anything happening when I was driving I didn't want to scare her. She was still in recovery. The speedometer inched down to sixty. I reconsidered and it inched down to forty five, the speed limit. Charlie wouldn't want to see much of me when I arrived at Bella's house so I might as well make this last.

It took a few seconds for Bella to slow her breathing. "You were saying?" I hinted as she detached herself from the death grip she held on my passengers seat.

"Why are you doing all this, talking to me, giving me a ride home, did someone dare you to or something? Is Alice in on it too?" she babbled, refusing to let me see her face as she blushed and looked out the window again. She waited patiently for my answer.

What on earth was she talking about? Oh no, she didn't think that there was no way that someone like _me_ could like her _again_ was she? Ha! I wouldn't know. I silenced that growl of irritation that threatened to surface from deep inside my chest. "What kind of question is that?" I snapped. I can't believe that she's doubting her attraction and hold on me _again!_

"What kind of answer is that?" she countered, turning red face to glare at me.

"No one dared me to do anything," I spat. This was truly unbelievable! "I'm choosing to do this. It's my choice to talk to you, it's my choice to give you this ride and it's my choice on whether or _not_ I'll answer a question as absurd as this!" I fought to keep from yelling, though my voice got much louder then I would have liked.

She flinched into her seat, hanging her head as I spat my response at her. I sighed. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

She nodded and turned away, a small, clear crystal flying off her cheek and onto my lap. I felt my heart snap. "Oh no, your not crying are you? I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." I said sincerely. I started to reach over towards her. If she still had her memory of me I would have pulled her closer to me, I would have stroked her cheek and then turned her face to look me in the eye. I would have bent down slowly and kissed her quivering lips. She would have blushed, wiped away her tears and smiled weakly. I thought better of this and tucked my arm into my side. She would freak if I did any of those things right now.

It took her a few minutes before she responded to me. "Why would you choose me then?" her voice was no louder then a whisper. Normal humans would have had difficulty hearing her.

"Bella, you're being utterly absurd." I mumbled in response. I just couldn't believe she was doubting that I would ever want her. This was pointless. Ridiculous. I pulled down her road and stopped in front of her house. Bella realized we were stopped and rose her head to looked around. She starred curiously at the front of Charlie's house.

I stepped out of my car and dashed over to her side at a speed human's couldn't see. I hoped she was too fixated on Charlie's to notice. I opened the passenger's door and held my hand out to help her. She glared at me with reddened eyes, but took my hand and pulled herself from the car. A sudden breeze brought several things to my attention.

One, I'd gotten far too distant to Bella's scent.

Two, the filthy dog was waiting just behind the door.

Three, getting Bella to remember me just became a much more urgent challenge.


	14. authors note

_A/N- I'm sorry to say but I'm going to take a slight break from updating. I've been updating all weekend. If you haven't read my other story, maybe you could take a look at it. I will have a new chapter out by Tuesday at the latest, I promise. Would it sound too cheesy if I were to add "please stay tuned?" _

_Ahaa, please, read and review my stories, if you haven't yet reviewed please do because reviews always make me work faster. Thank you to jaralrunner and all the others that have reviewed so far, I'm glad to know people are enjoying this so much!_


	15. Chapter 14 Choices

_A/N- hope you guys like this! (reviewing definitely makes me faster!) :)_

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**BPOV**

I didn't understand why Edward went so stiff after he helped me out of the car. He seemed to be chilled by a breeze that blew the rain in our direction. I know I certainly was. He gripped my arm, mumbling something about it being slippery, and walked me up to Charlie's door. The whole time he seemed to be in a daze, like he was seeing something far away that I couldn't. I stood awkwardly at the door, waiting for him to release my arm as he starred into space.

"Are you coming in?" I asked curiously, wondering why he was just standing there. His head snapped around and he looked down at me. I didn't understand his expression, it looked like worry mixed with anxiety. He quickly composed himself and smiled.

"No, I apologize," he rushed the words out, releasing my arm. "I must get back to the hospital, Carlisle needs my help." He nodded at me. "See you soon, Bella."

I was shocked by the choice of words. I didn't expect to see him soon at all after he had yelled at me like that in the car. I didn't understand why it had hurt so much when he had yelled at me. I starred after him as he strutted down the walk and back into his Volvo. He looked back at me one final time and smiled his breath taking crooked smile that lit up the rainy climate. I waved slightly and immediately put my hand back down. I turned around to hide my blush and quickly opened the door as I realized that I was getting soaked standing where the wind was pushing the rain at me.

I took off my black sweater which was now sopping with water. I could hear voices drifting in from the living room.

"Isn't there anything else you can do?" a low, husky voice that I didn't recognize asked whoever else was in the room.

"I'm sorry Jacob, but I think that she'll agree that it's best." the unmistakable voice of mother rang in my ears. I was shocked at how my body registered it, as if I hadn't heard it in ages when I _thought_ I'd heard it just three weeks ago.

"Honestly Renee, I think that Jacob's right." Charlie pleaded. I guessed that the husky voice was Jacob's. And Jacob was . . .

"The doctor suggested it for Bella's treatment, if he thinks it's a good idea and if she thinks it's a good idea then there's no stopping it." Renee snapped at the two of them. What? They were talking about me? I'd never heard Renee use so much authority when talking before.

I walked as fast as I trusted myself to the source of the voices. They didn't plan on making a decision for me, did they? It didn't take me as long as I thought it would have to make it to the short distance to the living room. I tried to make my entrance quiet and unnoticeable as I leaned against the archway. Renee was sitting on the large cushion chair next to the couch were Charlie was squished up against a large teenager with dark skin and long black hair . . . Jacob!

Jacob was looking intently at Renee, his mouth half open, then his eyes snapped up to me. "Bella!" he boomed, his voice sounded like a little girl squealing at the release of new shoes. He jumped up from the couch and pulled me into a bone crushing hug.

"Um, hi, uh, Jacob right?" I gasped. He released me and bent down so he was the same eye level as me.

"Don't tell me you don't remember me!" he scolded. I grinned at him sheepishly.

"Not really." I admitted. "But a little bit from when you were a kid. . ."

Jacob sighed and pulled me into another hug, this one though wasn't as hard. "Bella, I promise I will help you remember everything as long as you promise to stay." I pushed away from him to see he had pursed his lips and was looking uneasily at Renee. Renee was glaring back at him with a look that scared even me.

"Stay?" I questioned, looking over at Renee. She shook her head at Jacob and then turned to face me, her expression softening.

"Well, honey," she began somewhat nervously. This couldn't be good. Renee was always so hyper and self-confident that when she started something sounding nervous it had to be bad. "Dr. Cullen-"

"Carlisle." I corrected, interrupting her. She sighed.

"Okay, Carlisle," she started over. "Carlisle suggested that it would be maybe easier for you to come back to Florida with me until you got your memory back. Then you wouldn't have to worry about having to remember people and all that. . ." she smiled at me. Of course she'd like this idea. Renee had always been my best friend, she probably missed me. No matter how much she liked what's-his-face.

"Were you planning on letting me have a say in this?" I challenged. This irritated me. My mother had always been the kind of person that jumped quickly to decisions and I'd been the one who would talk her out of the ones that weren't exactly the best ideas and try my hardest to be supportive of the ones she refused to be swayed of, but this was different. This decision included me, and she wasn't going to make a decision this big for me. Besides, hadn't I come here in the first place because Renee wanted to be with Phil and Charlie was alone, why would I go back just to interfere with the whole setup?

"Oh!" Renee had obviously forgotten that I hadn't made a decision yet and she smiled ruefully at me. "Of course dear." Everyone turned their gaze directly to me, I shied away from the sudden attention.

"Um, I have to make it now?" I whispered.

Renee and Charlie exchanged a look and Jacob shook his head at the ceiling. I felt like I was missing something.

"You want to stay here for any longer when you don't even know anyone?" Charlie wondered. Renee and Jacob studied my face intently.

"I know them," I mumbled quietly. "I just can't remember them." I heard Jacob try to stifle a sigh but fail.

"Well," Renee started, nodding her head at Charlie after he whispered something in her ear. "You are supposed to see the doctor next month." She looked at Charlie again and he nodded. "You can have until then to make your decision if you'd like . . ." She looked at me expectantly.

"You say that like I have another choice."

"You can see the doctor down in Florida too." Renee replied desperately. It hurt me to see my mother so desperate to convince me of something, but I couldn't make such a big decision right now. There had to be someway that I could make everyone happy with the same decision.

They grew impatient as my silence grew and Jacob cleared his throat loudly. "Oh come on Bella," he pleaded, sounding far more desperate then Renee had. "I'll help you remember, please, please just don't go now. Just one month and if you really hate it here, you can leave." There was something about Jacob's face in pain that hurt me more then it had with Renee.

"Honestly guys, I don't know," I sighed in defeat as their gazes finally dropped from me and to the floor. "Can I have until tomorrow at least?" Now it was my turn to beg.

"Fine." Renee huffed. She turned her gaze to Charlie. "Now where do you plan to let me stay now that Bella's home?"

Charlie grimaced at the question and then snapped his head up to me like he'd just remembered something. "Wait, Bella how did you get home anyway?" We'd so engrossed in the conversation about my decision, even I– surprise, surprise– had forgotten I'd just arrived out of thin air.

"Edward offered to give me a ride home." I blushed and looked down as I continued, still unaware of why my cheeks burned whenever I said his name. "Edward Cullen?"

Jacob growled. "I knew something smelled bad in here." he scoffed. I threw him a puzzled look. He shook his head. "Never mind." he whispered.

Charlie scowled and murmured something unintelligible that sounded like "That darn Cullen boy." Renee had the opposite affect. Her eyes light up with excitement at the sound of his name but, after a stern look from Charlie, she restrained herself from saying anything. I looked at them curiously. Renee was the only one who would respond to my incredulous look with a mere shake of her head.

I sighed. I was getting annoyed with them right now. "I'm going up to my room." I announced. I wanted to know if it looked any different now then in the picture. And hopefully there were some sweats up there that I could change into. I stomped up the stairs and closed the door behind me. I leaned against it and slid to the floor.

What was I going to do?!


	16. Chapter 15 No more

_A/N- ahaa I can't help it, i'm as addicted to this story as you are ;) _

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**EPOV**

I was paralyzed by the thoughts being emitted from Charlie's house. I didn't want to believe them. I tried my hardest to find something else in them, to hear the thing that would make it all okay . . . but was there anything that could do that? I listened harder, deeper into the minds of Charlie, Jacob and Renee. No. The answer was no. Renee had her mind set and, as far as I could tell, Renee was where Bella got her stubbornness from.

_Why don't they see that if Bella comes back with me she'll be able make an easier recovery? People won't be jumping down her throats every five seconds in an attempt to make her remember them_. Renee's mind raced. I frowned. I didn't like this idea.

_BELLA CAN'T LEAVE! SHE JUST CAN'T! _Jacob's mind was screaming as it went through a list of profanities that he only wished he could yell at Renee. I grimaced. I felt the same, yet I'd never consider disrespecting Bella's mom in such a fashion

_She'll be fine. . . _Charlie's mind was the only one that was remotely calm.

"Are you coming in?" It stung a little that she didn't sound hopeful, but just pure curiosity. I hadn't realized that we were at her front door still getting poured on. I looked down at her. I was worried, what would she choose?

"No, I apologize," I said, fighting to keep my voice at a speed she could understand. I released her arm somewhat reluctantly. "I must get back to the hospital, Carlisle needs my help." I lied smoothly. I resisted my strong urge to reach out and stroke her cheek, to touch her lips and then to bend down and press my lips gently to hers. It stung. I nodded stiffly to her instead. "See you soon, Bella." I vowed. With that I turned and walked at what would seem like a quick pace to Bella. I stopped at my car and turned back to smile at Bella, desperate to see some sparkle in her eye that would reassure me that I didn't have to worry.

She half raised her hand and dropped it, spinning around and rushing towards the door but not before I saw the light tinge of pink burn into her cheeks. I quickly jumped into my car and drove down the road. Nearest parking lot . . . I thought to myself. All I wanted to do was just park my car in a place where no one would find it suspicious. I ended up at the hospital again. I automatically turned off the engine and looked the car. I strolled casually towards the woods and, with a quick glance back to make sure no one was watching, I sped off through the woods at a dead sprint towards Bella's house. I was dying to know what was going to be the final decision. If Renee was going to even _allow_ Bella any say in the matter.

As I ran closer to Bella's house I could hear Jacob's thoughts, as loud as ever, screaming at Bella. _Bella come on, don't you remember me?! We were best friends, I kept you alive when he didn't! How can you _not_ remember that! Ugh. This is going to be harder then I had hoped. _

I couldn't control the snarl the ripped through my teeth. How dare he say that. I left her for her own good. She had made a promise that she wouldn't do anything restless, how was I supposed to know she'd go bad on her word? I always trusted her. I took an unnecessary deep breath in an attempt to calm myself before I crept to the edge of the forest in back of Charlie's house.

Calm, I reminded myself. You want to hear the verdict.

"_Stay?" _Bella was asking her mom. Her mother glared at Jacob, he must have been the one who brought it up.

_Darn you Jacob,_ _why would you bring that up before I had the chance? Idiot._ She looked over to Bella, her expression softening. Though it still looked threatening through Jacob's eyes.

"_Well, honey, Dr. Cullen."_

"_Carlisle." _Bella interrupted.I smiled at that. I heard Renee sigh. _Whatever floats your boat Bella._

"_Okay Carlisle. Carlisle suggested that it would by maybe easier for you to come back to Florida with me until you got your memory back. Then you wouldn't have to worry about having to remember people and all that. . ." _I sighed and listened only for Bell's responses, their thoughts were all so repetitive. Renee continuously willing Bella to agree with the plan, Jacob's mind countering hers and Charlie calmly hoping that Bella makes the decision to stay with him, though he didn't plan on doing anything big if she decided to leave.

"_Were you planning on letting me have a say in this?"_ Bella demanded of them. Yes! That was a good sign, she was thinking twice before agreeing with Renee.

"_Oh!" _Renee scrambled for a reason why she hadn't brought this up. By the sounds she was right about making Bella mad by seeming to make the decision for her. _"Of course dear."_ she settled with.

Bella's face appeared in all of their thoughts. She flinched back against the wall as she figured out that she'd just become the center of attention. Silly Bella. "Um, I have to make it now?" she whispered so quietly I could almost feel Charlie and Renee's strain to hear the words.

_Why would she want to stay here when everyone is just going to jump down her throat forgetting that she doesn't know them?_ Charlie and Renee though together as they exchanged a look.

_Damn I'm going to miss Bella._ Jacob though sadly as he looked up at the ceiling in an attempt to blink away his tears. He shook his head in denial. _Why would she even stay anyway?_

"_Why would you want to stay here for any longer when you don't even know anyone?"_ Charlie questioned, everyone's thoughts mimicking the question.

"I know them, I just can't remember them." Bella mumbled in response, the way she always spoke to me when she knew that she was defeated. No, Bella keep fighting! I screamed in my mind. If only Bella could read _my_ mind. Jacob failed at hiding a sigh as his thoughts echoed mine.

"_Well . . ." _Renee paused as Charlie whispered something into her ear.

"_She could stay here until after her last check up next month and if she doesn't remember anything by then she can go with you, Renee." _Charlie did poorly at disguising the pleading edge in his voice that he'd been so determined to hide.

Renee nodded. I growled. I wasn't here to listen to what other people say, I was here to find Bella's verdict. I skimmed through the last bit of their conversation. Finally they fell silent and watched Bella again. She bit her lip self-consciously and looked away from their eyes. I felt as anxious as the others as I waited impatiently.

"_Honestly guys , I don't know."_ I sighed out my irritation. _"Can I have until tomorrow at least?"_ Tomorrow! I can't wait that long. I growled again and sighed as I heard Bella declare that she was going up to her room. The sting return as I realized I couldn't meet her there, I couldn't pull her into my arms and she began to cry as she did now. I moved silently across the lawn and slide up the side of Charlie's house and peaked in through her window.

I heard my heart crack into pieces when I saw her sitting on the floor curled up into a fetal position crying. I wanted to help her. I wanted to make her feel better. I wished that I could talk to her, that I could have some sort of influence on Bella's decision to stay here in Forks, but I was guessing that if this was her reaction to everything that just happened downstairs, my outlook wasn't good.

I leapt down from Charlie's house. I stood in the rain, allowing it to soak through me. As I broke into a sprint towards the woods I realized that this was something that I would have to allow Bella to do on her own, I wasn't a reason to stay anymore.


	17. Chapter 16 Verdict

_A/N-hehe i'm running out of things to say up here :) plz review:) it makes me write aLOT faster no joke:)_

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**BPOV**

The first thing I did as soon as I had control over myself again was hunt up a pair of sweats. It had taken me awhile seeing as I'd ended up bursting into tears as I though of all the hurt faces of my friends I couldn't remember. Not long after I broke into a fit of hysteria as I realized that, no matter what I choose, I was going to end up inducing so much pain on everyone.

I didn't get how I'd stay here though. I mean I didn't know, well really didn't remember, anyone. Surely this meant I was going to be the center of attention for days, weeks even. I couldn't stand that, not a chance

But what if I ended up remembering everything the moment that we landed in Florida? What if I realized going with Renee had been a huge mistake right as I get there? I had stayed in this rainy, alien land for this long so there must be something, possible someone, special here. This didn't seem like my kind of place. Well to my mind at least. My body felt perfectly at ease here, like it truly belonged here and nowhere else. The contrast didn't settle well in my stomach.

I was utterly confused. Reaching a verdict was going to be a challenge.

My little episode had taken about half an hour and now I was lying on my bed in a long sleeve flannel shirt and my favorite old sweats. I wasn't allowing myself to think about the big decision I knew I was soon going to have to make, I let my mind wander into safer, drier thoughts.

I ran through the images of the friends that Alice had showed me that had stuck in my memory. I could remember Ben and Angela, Jessica and Mike . . . Mike. There was something about him, something special. I couldn't quite place my finger on it right now. There was Jacob and Alice, both of who I didn't think would be hard to fall back into the pattern of friendship that we used to hold. Then there was Edward. The minute his name crossed my thoughts I was filled with sudden memories I'd just been searching for.

"_I'm guessing you don't remember that we dated once."_ _"So I have had a boyfriend?" "We had to break up." "Did I still like you?"_ Brief flashes of the conversation me and Mike had been having in the hospital flew through my head. Hmm. Right. Me and Mike had once been a couple. I found this much easier to believe then when I was informed of me and _Edward_ being a couple. I mean come on! The girl in that picture with Edward didn't even begin to remind myself of me. Her complection had been brighter, healthier, and her eyes had been sparkling with an emotion I'd never been introduced to, love. The though that it would have been returned by a creature that was more angelic then human seemed otherworldly. Utterly impossible

"_You wouldn't believe who I just saw out there, Edward Cullen!"_ Jessica's voice echoed through my hollow head. _"He was sitting outside your door as still as stone and when I came walking back he was like tearing down the hall like someone had just told him the building was going to explode. He looked pissed off! I don't think I've ever really seen a Cullen look that mad before,"_ I sat up straight as these words that had been so meaningless before registered themselves slowly into my brain. _"He looked pissed off!" _Had he heard what Mike had told me? What would that mean? . . .

A soft tap on the door pulled me sharply from my reverie and made me jump. I took a deep breath and tried to wipe the salt from my face with my sleeve. "Come in." I called after I gave up on trying. There was too much, I'd cried much more then I'd thought.

The door opened a crack and Jacob's giant head popped through hesitantly. "Hey." he said softly, smiling ever so slightly at me.

I tried to return the smile but I could feel it was pointless. I didn't remember my best friend! What was there to be happy about? "Hi Jacob." I greeted him, trying to echo his friendliness through my rough voice.

"You used to call me Jake, you know," he reminded me, slipping the rest of the way into my room and settling on the edge of my bed. It creaked under our combined weight. "You'd come down to La Push everyday. We'd hang out in my garage drinking warm soda or go walk on the beach and sit on this small driftwood tree and talk." he smiled sadly at the memories and looked down at me with a broken expression that I knew he couldn't control. "It's not gone," he whispered, sliding a stray hair behind my ear. How strange the people in Forks were, some had extremely cold hands while others were boiling. I wondered if that had anything to do with my head injury. "I know that somewhere in the back of your head you remember, you just haven't registered it yet." he sounded more like he was convincing himself rather then me.

I looked up at his melancholy eyes and felt my heart snap. I couldn't help it, my body acted without a demand from me brain. I threw my arms around him to comfort him, it seemed to be in my nature. Plus, there was yet another thing that my body was well aware of that the rest of me had no idea of. "I'm so sorry Jake." I choked out. I couldn't hold my tears in anymore, so I let them run onto Jacob's warm chest. He pulled me close and wrapped his overheated arms around me too.

"It's going to be okay honey." he whispered, almost crooned. I stayed in his arms until my eyes ran dry. I wiped the remaining salt water away and began to feel awkward. It felt like there was something special about Jacob to me, but I still didn't want to be this close. I think. It was hard to translate. I slowly pushed away from him, meeting his gaze. I dropped my head automatically as I felt my cheeks burn.

"Are you going to leave?" Jacob's whisper was barely audible. I looked up to see that his head was tilted down now so I couldn't see his pained expression, yet I could hear it all in his voice.

I hesitated. I hadn't made this decision yet. Would it be worth it to stay here for a month just to be stuffed with information that might not even help in the end? What if I didn't even remember until the end of the month, could I manage being in the spotlight for that long? I knew that it would hurt Renee if I stayed, but the thing was that seemed to be the only person it would bother. If I choose to leave with her now without even giving Forks a chance to be remembered it'd hurt so many more people that I couldn't even feel sympathy for because I didn't remember them. I looked up at Jacob again, he was starring right back, the pain and worry in his eyes and I had reached my verdict. "Are you willing to make a miracle happen?"

Jacob smiled widely and held out his large, boiling hand. "Welcome to Forks Isabella Swan."


	18. Chapter 17 Without

_A/N- :) plz review is all I really have to say anymore;)_

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**EPOV**

I wasn't sure how I got here, my mind had gone on autopilot. Despite the mood I was in, my mind must have thought this would make me feel better. The small circle of soft grass and colorful wildflowers seemed dull and lifeless. The babbling creek and always gentle wind whispered painful reminders that Bella wasn't here beside me. In the meadow I made just for her.

I laid, still and on my back, just like I had when I first had when I'd come here with Bella. Only this time, there was no warmth. No warmth from the sun, no warmth from Bella's sweet, delicate touch. No, there was rain coming down on me in sheets. If I could cry I'd mistake the water covering me with my tears, but no, my lifeless body wouldn't betray me in such a way. It did shake, though, as my body was overtaken by tearless sobs.

I was a selfish being. I had no reason to want Bella, but I'd taken her and kept her. I should have left her when I first came back, I should have let her go with Jacob while I was gone. I had been to greedy, to selfish to share. If I had been more willing Bella would be down in Jacksonville, Florida already with her mother. She would have left when her mother had first offered her to move down with them. That, or she'd be with someone more or less safe for her, like . . . I snarled. No, Mike Newton did _not_ deserve her.

It took me longer then it should have to register that someone was approaching me. The approach was soundless, I knew it was another vampire. I didn't bother to jump up into a defensive pose, their thoughts were screaming at me.

_Edward, your being ridiculous. _Alice's thoughts scoffed at me. _Far past overreacting. She's staying, she decided that. I saw it long after I should have though. Stupid, filthy dog. He'll be spending plenty of time with her if you don't hurry up and stop moping._ I could see her now as I opened my eyes reluctantly. The buckets of rain washing over my face did nothing to me as I met her eyes. She was sitting right behind my head, leaning forward and looking intently into my eyes. _Please Edward, I don't want to lose her either._

"You compare one small sapling to the forest." I muttered as thunder clapped above our heads.

"I'm missing football for you." she whispered, looking towards the clearing miles away. I sighed. Alice, as much as I, loved playing any sport that we couldn't normally at every chance we got. I hated to admit it, but I was a little touched that she'd missed playing football to come see me. I was too anxious to pay attention to this though because it also meant that whatever I had to do, it had to be done soon.

"What's the problem then, Alice?" I closed my eyes again and prepared to be struck with bad news. Maybe she was only staying for a week instead of a month, maybe she wasn't going to go out and try to remember, just say she did as not to upset Charlie. Whatever it was it wasn't good. Alice was blocking her thoughts like Carlisle did by distracting herself.

"She's _only_ listening to what Jacob's saying and she's buying every word of it," she whispered scornfully. "He's spoon feeding her how terrible you are and telling her only the bad things that you ever did to her, like ignore her, lie to her and leave her."

I on all fours, crouched like I was ready to pounce before I had even registered that this was what I wanted to do. A terrible snarl ripped through my teeth, just reminding me of the monster that I was. I wished that Alice was Jacob and Mike combined right now. I'd love to rip them both to shreds. To crush each of their limbs and rip their hearts out, to hear their pained screams and chuckle darkly knowing that they finally understood how I felt right now. It was the only way they'd ever understand, ever stop. Maybe I'd let them keep their hearts, just hurt them so bad that they'd wish I would. I smirked, these thoughts were instantly cheering me. I was actually considering making these beautiful ideas reality.

"Edward!" Alice hissed, talking an automatic step back. "Control yourself!" I scanned her mind and saw the pleasing vision of me succeeding with my plans with Mike Newton. "You will go nowhere near Mike Newton." she snapped, her voice and face suddenly very serious. I scowled, but stiffly straightened out of my crouch.

"Sorry Alice." I murmured halfheartedly. I wasn't really sure that I actually _was_ sorry. "I'm going to see her." I announced, turning to break into a sprint towards her house. I took a step before I was caught my Alice's petite hand.

"She's sleeping now, Edward," she said softly. "Tomorrow."

I glared at her. "Since when has that stopped me?" I shook off her hand, off to see my love at the only time I didn't have to worry about her reaction towards me anymore.


	19. Chapter 18 Sudden

_A/N- so I just had to cut off where it ends bcuz i'm switching to Edward's view and I like it more when I make the different views different chapters:)_

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**BPOV**

Renee didn't accept my decision as gracefully as I would have preferred, but it could have been far worse. I found out that it had been Carlisle who had paid for my mom to come up here in the first place, this made me feel guilty. Renee said he had insisted. She left at noon in no better then a mood then she had been when I had told her in the morning that I would not be joining her on her flight home. She pleaded with me and final time and, despite how bad I felt, I refused again.

I stood on the doorstep and waved into the rain at Charlie's receding car with Renee in it even though I knew she couldn't see me. I found myself frozen as I starred into the sheets of never ending rain that I knew I'd have to grow used to during my next four weeks here in Forks. I felt totally out of climate, yet my body didn't shiver with unfamiliarity. I allowed the wind to push rain against me until I saw a familiar silver car driving down the road towards me. I squinted into the rain as it parked on the curb in front of my house. My breath caught in my throat as I watched the driver step out.

The rain seemed to bounce of his snowy, marble skin as he stood there, starring at me. It did affect his bronze hair, patting it down and pushing it over his darkened eyes. Funny, his eyes weren't nearly as gold as usual today. I crossed my arms and fought a shiver, waiting for him to approach me. He didn't make a move either, just kept starring at me. I wanted to yell at him for lying and ignoring me and, when he finally started paying attention to me, leaving me.

Jacob had told me all of this, that Edward and I had been best friends before I was best friends with him. We'd been inseparable it seemed, but he was just using me. Then he met the other girl he'd wanted and so he continued lying to me and began ignoring me, that's when I had to get other friends like Angela, Ben, Jessica and Mike. And then he and his sister just left me. Never spoke to me again. Then Jacob and I had become friends, better then I'd been with Edward. There was something about this being my past that didn't settle right in my stomach or my mind.

I shook again as the rain soaked further into my skin. I looked up at him again, he stared back, his eyes burning into mine. "Do you want to come inside?" I asked quietly, trying to yell over the rain but I couldn't find my voice to. He nodded, water flying off his soaked hair.

I turned and walked straight to the door which was still wide open. The front mat was soaked from the wind blown rain. I walked up to the cupboard above the stairs and grabbed and three towels. I wrapped one around myself and dropped another on the floor and began pushing it back down the stairs where the water had trailed behind me. When I reached the bottom of the stairs again I found Edward standing on the wet mat with the door closed behind him. His stance was rigid, I guessed he was cold.

I held up the towel, offering it to him. He held out his hand and I threw it to him. "Do you want anything?" he shook his head. I shifted my weight to one foot and put my hands on my hips, looking him over with narrowed eyes. "Why are you here?"

Edward looked down for a few minutes, I kept my eyes on the back of his head the whole time. The silence was comfortable to a few minutes, but as the time ticked by I began to feel awkward as grew statue like. "Edward?" I gasped.

His head snapped up, so fast it didn't seem like there had been any movement there at all. His eyes burned into mine. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. He closed it again and took a deep breath and tried again. "Shall I started with apologizing?" he whispered weakly. He seemed wary, like something about my presence had taken all of the energy out of him.

This set me off. "For what?" I asked loudly, I couldn't control myself from yelling. "For faking to be my friend, for lying to me, for ignoring me? Or better, leaving me for no damn good reason and coming back when I can't remember a damn thing about it just so you can your shot at me? What, do you want to hurt more of me?!" I paused, considering this sentence for a moment. "No, I don't remember what the pain felt like, but Jacob said I looked like hell the whole time."

Edward growled, a deadly sound from deep within his chest. I froze. "Is that what Jacob had the _nerve_ to tell you?!" he snapped, his voice full of acid. "And you _believed _him!" His eyes turned desperate at the word believed but instantly turned cold as he hissed him. "How could you digest these lies Bella! It's all here, right in front of you! You have to open your eyes and realize the truth Bella! He's lying to you, he doesn't like me for reasons I could inform you of once again if you'd just trust me!"

I could feel the warm moisture building up in my eyes. I narrowed them and a droplet of water trickled down my face. "And _you've _never lied to me," I accused sourly. Something inside of me ached as I acted so coldly to Edward, I pushed it aside. "Why should I believe you either?"

I gasped as his cold hands suddenly grabbed my arms, he lifted me so that I could see into his eyes. "You have to believe me Bella, before it's too late." he whispered. I starred vacantly back into his darkening eyes, emotions I didn't recognize running through my veins.

"I . . . I just don't know anymore, Edward," I whispered, barely audible. "I'm so confused." I held in my tears, I didn't want to cry in front of him. I realized that my feet were still floating in the air, not touching the ground for Edward still held me in his icy hands. I struggled against his grip. He placed me gently back onto me feet. I heard a car engine cut off from out front over the dying rain. Weird, Charlie shouldn't be home yet.

Edward stiffened and a growl rumbled from deep within his chest, more menacing then what I'd heard before. I flinched away. He murmured something unintelligible, but I could make out one word that sent worried shivers down my spin. _Jacob._

He spun out towards the door and I ran to keep up. Jacob was making his way up the walk towards the door when Edward reached the bottom of the steps. The two froze in their tracks. I stopped at the door, grabbing the frame for support as I took in the rigid, menacing stances the two took as they faced each other. Edward no longer looked god-like, but like an angel morphed into your worst nightmare like they were in sudden nightmares. Jacob scowled deeply and began shaking all over as they starred each other down. I stood in fear that a fight much worse then your average fist fight was about to break out.


	20. Chapter 19 Fight

_A/N- don't worry, time goes a lil faster after this chapter . . . :) review, tell me what you think of this:)_

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**EPOV**

_What are you doing here leech?_ The thoughts was a cold warning. I would have laughed out loud if I wasn't so afraid that if I broke my posture I'd end up breaking Jacob's neck, as appealing as that sounded right now. I stood in silence, not moving from my rigid pose as he starred back at me, repeating the question in his head and awaiting some response from me. He was shaking violently and I began to worry for Bella's safety. I stepped one foot out and put my hands behind me, holding them as casually as I could behind my back.

"Jacob." I growled with as much acid as I was capable of.

"Edward." he retorted just as menacingly. Another wave of shakes washed through him.

"I'd calm down there mongrel, you wouldn't want to do that so close to Bella." I snapped, I was truly becoming worried for Bella as Jacob's thoughts grew more and more violent.

"I would never hurt her bloodsucker." he spat angrily, though his shaking continued to grow worse, I heard Bella wince behind me.

"Oh, so lying isn't considered hurting in your book?"

"I didn't lie." Jacob growled, though some of the menace was gone.

"Oh yes, because I really did leave Bella for another _girl_." I snapped, anger filling my every cell. It took all of my willpower to stay planted in that one spot. I could see Bella's face from Jacob's mind. She looked, aside from nervous and scared, confused. Of course, she'd never told me what Jacob had forced her to believe, I'd found that out from him just now.

Jacob narrowed his eyes further at me, his glare looking only slightly menacing to me. He had to prayer of catching me, no prayer of being able to change fast enough to be able to defend himself. In what would look like just one simple stride, I could leap forward and snap his neck, never be bothered with him again. Bella would never be bothered with him again. _Think about your family._ I reminded myself. My innocent family was the only thing that kept me from starting a full out war right now.

_You've had your chance with Bella, now step aside, it's my time to shine._ His thoughts snapped brutally. I couldn't stop the snarl that surged through my chest and out my mouth. He raised one eyebrow as the image of Bella's panicked face flashed into his mind.

"You're lucky I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt Bella in anyway, or you'd be rotting away in the La Push cemetery by tomorrow." I threatened coldly. He snorted. _Like you could even . . . _I growled again.

_Come on leech, your so strong with words, I doubt you could ever do anything you ever said_. he took a quivering step towards me, towards Bella. I took a few advancing steps to put some distance between me and Bella. That was a mistake. I lost the small amount of control that I had maintained while I'd been standing so stiffly at the bottom step. I automatically lowered into a defensive crouch. I heard her gasp.

"No!" she cried out from behind me. Multiple things happened at once, I doubted that Bella had any idea what was going on. She was fortunate, this would all play through her mind once before she went into shock. Everything would drift from her memory into much lesser detail. As for me, everything would be seen, crystal clear and just come back even more vivid then the last with each useless blink. I just hoped that my assumption was wrong, my assumption that it wasn't going to end well.

She came running down the steps to place herself between Jacob and me as Jacob's shape quivered and shook. He was half human, half giant wolf as Bella placed herself between us, one arm stretching uselessly in both directions. I leapt, originally planning on taking Jacob out, but Bella's safety became my top priority instantly. I dove sideways, pulling Bella onto the grass with me, cradling her in my arms so that Jacob couldn't touch her. He was out of control now. I winced as he clawed through the air that I, that _Bella,_ had just been standing in.

I threw Bella behind my back, guarding her so she couldn't see in fear that she'd go into shock, and stood defensively in front of her. The beast froze in his tracks and shook his giant head. _I . . . did I just . . . oh my god . . . Edward? _He denied everything that was happening. He spun in a circle before running off into the woods behind Charlie's house, whimpering. He wanted to believe that Bella had nearly been killed by a giant wolf as much as I had. Yet it was worse for him, he had been that giant wolf.

Bella was pressing herself up against my back, clinging to my soaking shirt, her breathing shallow. I easily pried her fingers free from my shirt and pulled her around to face me. Her face was frozen in a look of pure terror. She looked up at me with a million questions screaming at me from her eyes. "Bella, Bella calm down." I demanded. She began to cross the line to hysteria.

"What . . ." she stuttered, looking around her with the terror still glued tight to her face. She turned her gaze to me, her deep brown eyes frightened. "What are you?" I starred back at her vacantly.

Even after _that_ she still didn't remember anything?! She struggled against my hold and I loosened my grip and allowed her to wiggle out of my hands. She starred at me, her chest heaving. Her eyes widen. "Stay away," she warned, backing up towards the door. "Just stay away from me. You and Jacob both, I can't deal with this!" She turned, throwing a panicked glance over her shoulder. I would have given everything just to know what had been racing through her mind at that one point in time. She ran off and into the house, slamming the door behind her.

I gaped at the door. No, the first time she realizes I'm a vampire, she's perfectly okay with it. And now, when she doesn't even know what I _am_ she's terrified. I stumbled, if that was possible for me, as far as the edge of the woods and collapsed as soon as I was no longer visible. I gripped my face in my hands.

_This couldn't be happening!_


	21. Chapter 20 Out of sight out of mind

_A/N- I edited the last chapter a little so check it out if you read it early today or last night. the beginnings a flashback. enjoy, review:)_

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**BPOV**

_I stood, pinned to the open door frame, terrified by the menace in each of their tones. They had stopped all means of verbal communication, but I could tell by Jacob's amused expression that he was telling Edward something . . . I just couldn't quite locate how. Aside from his amused expression, Jacob looked completely torque. He stood straight as a board with his arms stiffly at his side. He must have been freezing or something because he was shaking so violently I actually considered he was having a seizure. My brain wasn't working well enough for me to register that if that was the case then I should probably call for help._

_Edward's stance was stiff. He was positioned like a soldier would be if they'd just been ordered to stand at ease only there was nothing at ease with Edward. Every muscle on his body was tense, held in place so tightly that his blueish/black veins could be seen sticking out through his wet long sleeve turtleneck. I feared that if he so much as moved one finger he'd escape whatever was holding him in place, he sure looked like that._

_Without warning, Jacob took a sudden step towards me. It was a wide stride, I could probably fit three fair sized steps in the distance he covered. Edward didn't seem pleased with Jacob's advanced as he loosened out of his rigid posture and closed the distance between him and Jacob, taking himself further from me. He squatted down into what looked like a defensive stance. I felt suddenly uneasy. This wasn't good._

"_No!" I heard someone screech. Whoever had yelled this had registered what was going on before I had the opportunity too. I was shocked when I realized that it had been me that had yelled. I was still in a daze as my legs carried me forward and between the two tense enemies. Something inside of me was screaming to protect Edward from Jacob's attack while something else screamed that it wouldn't be Edward in need of help. I reached the middle of them faster then I'd thought I was capable of and stretched my palms out towards them in a feeble attempt to stop them._

_I was already breathless, so there was no wind to escape my system as something hard and cold collided with me, causing me to fall sideways. Only I never hit the ground, instead I was curled into a ball behind icy white bars of whatever had just knocked me off the walk. My brain was yet to catch up with what was going on right now. I heard a strange panting, it sounded an awful lot like a dog._

_The moment I had realized that I was cradled into Edward's iron grip, I found myself upright and hidden behind his back. I was stunned at how my sudden closeness to Edward made me feel so amazingly safe. Relief flooded through my system, relief I didn't recognize, it shouldn't have been there yet it was totally welcome. I felt curious to twist around Edward's defensive position and see what he was guarding me from with such intensity but the moment I pulled away from Edward even the slightest bit I felt the fear envelope me again and cut off my air. I pulled myself closer to his cold sopping shirt. I heard the panting fade away as another unfamiliar noise fill my ears. It was odd, out of place. It sounded like a mixture of someone having a seizure and sobbing over the worst thing that had ever occurred._

_I felt Edward's cold hands meet mine and I shivered, not only from the chill it sent up my arms but with relief. An electric current flowed from his hands to mine, reassuring me that everything was okay, now. He pried me easily from his shirt and pulled me around front to hold me close to his chest. I felt my feet leave the ground ever so slightly as he raised me high enough to reach his ducked head. I could see my terror echoing through his now black eyes. "Bella, Bella calm down." he demanded gently, concern filling his expression and oozing out of his voice. I felt calm, yet at the same time I felt more panicked then before. I could feel I was bridging hysteria._

_I looked over the plains of his face, felt the coldness of his body against mine. I looked around, Jacob wasn't here anymore. It had all happened so fast. Was that kind of speed even capable by humans? I could tell something was not right. "What . . ." I stuttered helplessly, returning my gaze back to his face to watch his expression slowly begin to shift. "What are you?" He starred back at me blankly, I could feel the intensity of his stare. He was trying his hardest to tell me something, I could see that much, but he wasn't going to tell me until he thought I was ready. He would never think I was ready. I was going to have to figure this out on my own. _

_Something in the pit of my stomach flipped over and tied itself in knots. I knew what he was, but why couldn't I think the word? My body was well aware of it, the back of my mind knew exactly what it was but it wasn't telling me! What?! What was it! I needed to escape this confusion. No, I just couldn't handle anymore of this! I'd had enough for one day thank you very much! Enough for a lifetime! Why hadn't I gone with Renee in the first place! I struggled out of Edward's hands, stumbling backwards. "Stay away," I warned him as I continued backing up towards the door. "Just stay away from me. You and Jacob both, I can't handle this!" I declared as I turned and ran for the door. It was true, I couldn't handle anymore confusion. The feeling of knowing exactly what was going on but at the same time not having the slightest idea was driving me insane! I threw a panicked look over my shoulder to make sure he wasn't following me as I raced up the steps at such a speed I was truly amazed I didn't fall flat on my face. _

_I stumbled over my feet, nearly falling many times, until "I made it to the top step. My foot caught on it and I flew forwards, my forearms breaking the fall. I rolled onto my back, sobbing hysterically as the odd relief Edward had bestowed upon me began to wear away as fast as it had came. I had no idea what had just happened, yet at the same time I knew I knew everything that was going on. I had never been more confused in my life! And on top of that, both my arms were completely numb as I had landed on a nerve. _

_It took awhile for me to gain enough control and get enough air in my system to be able to get up and walk into my room, but I had done it. I didn't change or take a shower or anything along those lines until Charlie got home. I used this as an excuse to avoid him, though I knew that if he saw or heard me crying he'd naturally stay away. He was as shy with emotions as I was, I knew I'd definitely gotten that from him, not Renee. I didn't talk much so the rest of the night. The confusion never fully faded away._

.

I had been trying my hardest for the past week not to let my mind replay the terrifying and confusing day that Edward and Jacob had had the menacing face off in front of Charlie's house. I wanted so badly to figure out what it was that I knew that I just couldn't remember. it was making it more and more challenging to fall asleep at night before that popped up in my thoughts.

I'd kept myself occupied with things I'd been neglecting, cleaning, cooking and schoolwork. I spent three solid days cleaning the house, a thick layer of dust and scum had enveloped the house in the month that I had been gone. I remembered only soon enough that Charlie couldn't clean or cook from himself. As soon as the house was spotless, I spent a good amount of time starring at my past notes from school, willing my brain to remember it all so I wouldn't have to relearn everything along with all the catching up I had to do before I could return to school. Most of the time I'd end up screaming in frustration and stomping out the door. A high percentage of the time I'd end up in the forest behind Charlie's house.

It was refreshing to walk along the trails in the green wonderland. I felt as if there was no such thing as impossible as I watched the small creatures scamper past my feet. I think that's why I go there so often, because it makes me think that I can really pull this off. That I will remember everything I'd lost about Forks. There were so many questions I had that I knew only I could answer. I'd always be more optimistic when I stepped back out of the lively forest then I had when I'd first gone in. I never felt quite comfortable when I first entered. It was almost like there was actually an unpleasant memory receding from the trail in the forest.

After a week of this repetitive schedule I grew anxious. I hadn't seen Alice since the hospital and, despite how I'd demanded that Edward and Jacob stay away, I hadn't said for her to stay away. I missed her, I could feel the sorrow of it rolling off of me in waves. At least I was pretty sure it was her that was making me feel this way. In fact, I hadn't seen much of my friends since I'd been in the hospital.

I looked up from the notes that were a mere prop and to the clock. It was only an hour until Charlie got home so I wandered into the kitchen to start dinner before he returned. I was still overwhelmed by the vast amounts of fish that he had accumulated in his freezer and decided that I'd make something with it tonight. I had just finished frying the fish as I heard Charlie's cruiser park out front. I set out the plates and drinks and sat down. It took much longer then I'd expected for Charlie to reach the door. I could hear him talking to someone outside.

The door creaked open and his talking ceased. I could hear him stomping across the floor, but no footsteps accompanied his. I looked at him, preparing to question him of who it was but my breath was knocked away. A smile flew across my face as my eyes rested on the snow white and black spiky hair of a petite girl that stood beside him.

"Alice!"


	22. Chapter 21 Request

_A/N- ahh there are so many ppl reading this, if only that many ppl would review too ;)_

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**EPOV**

Her words had burned through me like acid. I'd stayed collapsed deep in the woods for who knows how long. I wasn't in the condition to move, nor did I have any intentions to. I might have stayed there forever had something not caught my attention. A sudden breeze sent leaves into the air and blew them into my frozen face. Amidst the smell of dirt and dead leaves something rich and familiar reached my nostrils, a scent I'd recognize from anywhere, yet I'd never planned on smelling it for a long time.

Bella. What was she doing in the woods? She'd promised me back before when we were just beginning to fall in love that she'd stay away from them, away from the danger that lurks in these forbidding trees. I laughed, a short burst of humor that was gone as quickly as it had appeared, as I remembered that she wasn't going to remember that. She couldn't remember _anything_.

I stiffened up to my feet and off of the ground. I shocked to see that there was an indent from where I'd been lying. How long had I been here anyway? A small part of my mind tabulated the times the sun has set and risen well I'd been laying dormant on the ground. Seven. How strange, I'd been there for a week. It'd felt much longer then that. I had set my feet on autopilot and, to my surprise, found myself walking towards the direction that Bella's scent was drifting from. The strength of her stench settled uneasily with me

How many times had she been in here? It smelled like three or fours times a day. That was definitely not good. I wished that I could go and tell her to stay away from here, tell it was dangerous and not a good idea to wander through the woods. I wondered if she could feel it, sense the danger she was unknowingly stepping into.

Before I could think about it much longer I was flying the opposite direction that I'd been just heading, back through the woods towards my house. Esme would be worried about me. Worried that I'd left them again like I had only months ago. I shouldn't be doing this to my family.

It wasn't long until the trees were slimming and a river appeared before me. I leapt over it without breaking stride, landing in the wide berth the trees provided. I could hear Esme's thoughts the moment I took another step

_Oh my, Edward's home! I was so worried. . . _I was right. I shouldn't have stayed in the woods that long and done that to my mother. I'd made her suffer enough already, she didn't deserve to be forced through any more unnecessary pain. I heard them all realize I was coming back. They were trying to act casual, clearing all their thoughts of Bella. I sighed, hesitating momentarily. Should I go back? I wasn't really in the mood to be sociable. I needed Alice to talk to Bella though. Besides, I would be forced to face them sooner or later.

I proceeded towards the door with poor grace, slamming it open absentmindedly. No one shifted from where they were, afraid that if they approach me I'd run away like a scared animal. I nodded my head as they all starred up at me from their places on the couch. They gazed back at me warily, preparing for me to break down. I narrowed my eyes at their thoughts. Everyone thought I was going to make them miserable again. That my misery would be so strong that Jasper wouldn't be able to avoid sending it back out to others as to just get it out of his own system.

"No," I told them, my voice sounding distant. "I'm fine. Please don't worry. Alice can I speak to you?" I made it very subtle in a flat, detached voice. It was all I could offer. Alice raised gracefully from the couch, the others gradually drifting out of the room to give us privacy though I knew that they'd be able to hear what I had to say anyway. I still waited until we were alone before I opened my mouth to speak. Her thoughts cut me off before I had the chance to begin.

_How could that flea bag_ _do that?! Did he not realize what he was doing, what he could have done to Bella?! If he had hurt her, I would have killed him myself. I would have beat you to it, believe me Edward. I would have felt it, even if I couldn't see it. She could be dead now Edward, and I wouldn't even know how! I saw her dead, imagine that, and I didn't know why! Oh that dog!_ Her thoughts were furious, she was flaming. I understood her perfectly. I had felt the urge to kill Jacob greater at that moment in time then I ever had before. I was sad that I'd missed out on the opportunity.

"I need you to talk to Bella for me." it shouldn't have been painful to say her name, yet it stung me all the same. Alice wondered why. "She's been wandering through the woods again." I murmured, I felt slightly overprotective as I always did when Alice gave me that look. "Listen, will you please just tell her not to go in there? I don't want anything to happen to her."

_Hmm. She needs help concentrating with her schoolwork._ Alice thought to herself as a vision of Bella appeared in her mind. Bella was leaning over a textbook, starring at it as her eyes glazed over. She looked up at the clock and shrugged, pushing up from the table she wandered out the door. She walked happily towards the woods, like a great weight had just been lifted off her shoulders and disappeared into the forbidding green as Alice's vision faded away. A new one replaced it. Instead of wandering out the door, Bella went into the kitchen and began to prepare for dinner. Going into the woods must have just been the option that had seemed for appealing to her. Alice's mind turned blank before she recovered from her vision. I looked grimly at her, her returning smile was vibrant.

_Ah Edward, don't worry. You'll be with Bella sooner then you know._


	23. Chapter 22 Beginning

_A/N- plz i'm anxious to know what all these people are thinking:)review!_

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**BPOV**

"Hi Bella!" Alice chimed, echoing my enthusiasm. She skipped over to my side and pecked my cheek. I smiled happily at her. She returned it without any effort. I had been right, I really did miss Alice, yet nowhere near as much as I thought I had. That hollow feeling of depression was still there. Not as strong, but still there and hurting all the same. I pushed it aside. It was my pain, I'd figure it out later. Now Alice was here and I was going to enjoy my time with her. Alice was like my sister, no matter how many times I could forget about her.

Charlie mumbled something about being late for the game and grabbed his plate. "Excuse me Alice." he said gruffly, rushing slightly into the living room. Alice waited patiently as I started eating. The sound of ESPN announcers floated into the room.

"I'm sorry," I exclaimed as I realized how rude I was being. "Are you hungry? Can I get you some?" I jumped up and went to grab her a plate. Her cold hand caught me and sat me back down. She laughed her wind-chime laugh.

"Don't worry about me, Bella," she assured me, sitting across the table from me. She put her elbows up on the table and crossed her hands, resting her head on them. "I ate before I came. How have you been?" she tilted her head to the side as I chewed as fast as I could.

"Good I guess," I said between bites. I was anxious to finish my food and talk to Alice. "Bored to the highest degree." She sighed.

"I would have guessed that," she glanced over my shoulder. I twisted in my seat to see what she was looking at. My textbook and notes laid messily on the corner of the counter. I blushed at the mess I'd left of it. "You look like you could use a study partner." she commented, standing up and strolling gracefully to my school stuff. "I'd be glad to help you Bella." She smiled persuasively.

I chugged down what was left of my drink and smiled back. "You have no idea how wonderful that sounds." I accepted gratefully. This would no doubt help me focus loads better. I just hoped that Alice would be able to concentrate on schoolwork and we wouldn't end up talking about random things.

"Great," she chirped happily. "First thing tomorrow." She spun once before she sat. "We have some catching up to do." We spent the rest of the night talking over the things we'd missed over the last week. I felt so dull as I listened to Alice explain events from school and home. She'd gone on a shopping trip, but she said it felt so lonely without me there and ended up insisting that I go on one with her. I couldn't help but groan at that idea. I hated shopping, Alice of all people should know this. I was getting the vibes though that Alice was Alice and what Alice wants, Alice gets. I gave in reluctantly. I guess I was going shopping next Saturday.

After Alice finally finished explaining what I'd missed over the past week she asked excitedly what I've been up to. I grimaced. "I cleaned," I said flatly. "I've cooked. Done my schoolwork. I go for walks sometimes in the woods when I get bored. Yeah. Exciting eh?" I rolled my eyes. Even I felt the urge to close my eyes, tilt my head back and snore. Alice's reaction surprised me, she narrowed her eyes at me.

"You've been going in the _woods_?!" she asked, her voice taking a menacing edge to it. I flinched away involuntarily and nodded. "Oh no, you're not allowed to go in there. Got it Bells? Don't go in there." her voice softened a little and she smiled apologetically at me. I nodded again, a little shaken. That was a little it out of place. I had no idea why she would react that way.

She glanced at the clock. Time had gone by so fast when Alice was here, it'd already been two hours. I did a double take. That couldn't be right. "You don't have to leave, do you?" I pleaded. It felt like she'd just gotten here. Why did she have to leave?

Alice smiled sweetly at me. "I'll come over the minute I get out of school tomorrow, promise." she vowed, her golden eyes burning into mine. I nodded yet again and looked away from her intense gaze. She leaned over and pecked my cheek. "Can't wait, the sooner you catch up, the sooner you'll be back in school." she crooned before she dance out of the room. "I'll see you tomorrow, Charlie."

I heard a faint mumble from him in the living room and, as I turned my gaze back to where Alice had just been, she had disappeared silently out the door. I sighed and got up. I washed my dishes and Charlie's and proceeded to try and find some busy work to keep me occupied until I grew tired. This failed as I found nothing left to clean. I wandered up to the bathroom to shower. The confused feeling was slowly finding its way back to me. It sat uncomfortably in my stomach, asking me why it was there. I had no answer to give it and I thought through any possibilities for it as I showered. I was still drawing a blank as I brushed through my wet hair.

I searched aimlessly around my room, thumbing through books that I'd read so many times over the last week that they'd found their way perfectly back into my memory. I finally landed upon something that could possibly offer me more of a distraction from the strange feeling feeding off the pit of my stomach, my CD player. I looked through my options. There were a few CDs from old bands that I wasn't particularly fond of, but were Renee's favorites, a CD labeled as Phil's mix and a single blank silvery one with no name. That made me curious. I wondered if there was anything on it at all.

I slipped the blank CD into the open mouth and snapped it shut. I hesitantly pressed played and sat back on my bed to listen to whatever mysterious music it held. I was stunned breathless as beautiful piano music flowed through the stereo gently. It was lovely, the most magnificent piano piece I'd ever heard. It had the qualities of a lullaby and I felt that I could listen to it all night. My hand flew out and hit stop. The confusion had grown and it was bubbling so high in my chest that it actually stung. I hugged my knees to my chest and tried to make sense of what was going on. Who was the CD from?

I refused to think about it anymore, the confusion was beginning to make me feel wary. I decided that it was late enough for sleep now anyway. I ran halfway down the stairs and called goodnight to Charlie. He might have mumbled something back, but I was sure. It was hard to hear anything over how loud he'd set the tv.

I sauntered back up the stairs and sat on my bed. I debated whether I could actually go to bed or not, deciding I wasn't quite tired enough yet. I slipped in Phil's mix, curious to see what kind of music my mother's husband was into. I laid back on my bed. I must have listened to these bands before because most of them were very familiar to me, I could even sing along to a few of the songs. I drifted off to sleep as the CD started over again.

I didn't realize it then, but I had never really listened to these songs until I'd come to Forks. I was starting to remember.


	24. Chapter 23 Cancellation

_A/N- hehe i'm sorry if this is a slightly boring chapter, the beginnings a fill-in part :) as always, I ask for your reviews:)_

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**BPOV**

Once again I found myself in a long hallway. There were doors on either side of me, but I had long past given up on trying to open them. Every last one of them were locked. The only door I hadn't had the opportunity yet to open was the one on the very end. It was frustrating, every step took me further from my destination rather then closer. I'd tried running multiple times before, all that had done was get me farther and farther away until I fell into another bottomless pit. I was tired of this. Weren't dreams supposed to have variety?

I stopped walking and looked at the door. It had started out only two steps away from me and now was a good ten strides away. I wondered if this was a feat that could ever be accomplished. I'd had this dream for what? The past ten nights? Depends, when was it that Alice first dropped by since the hospital? I blamed the music and the way it had forced the bubble of confusion to build up inside of my chest. I'd hidden my CD player since then. I didn't want to listen to it in hope that it would eventually get rid of this dream. It always caused me to wake in a feeling of utmost despair. It was just another painful memory that there was so much right there within my reach, but I would never get it.

Was that what it was supposed to be sending across? That I was never actually going to get my memory back, no matter how hard I tried at it? That's all I could relate it to, what else was there that I wanted that I couldn't get? I sighed and took a step forward. The door inched away from me and I groaned angrily. I couldn't stand this. I broke into a run. I always woke up faster once I'd fallen into the darkness that I never could surface from. It was long until the door was shrinking, taking the light with it until it was just a faint dot of the horizon before it disappeared. I felt the ground slip away from underneath me again and I fell ever so slightly gracefully down into the darkness. I welcomed, now I was positive I'd be freed of this continuous nightmare soon.

I felt the mute thud as I shook in my bed. I gasped, I had the strangest feeling that I wasn't alone, my eyes snapped open. I scanned the room as my heart slowed down, they stopped on my window. I could have sworn that I'd had this closed, it was pouring out last night. I walked unsteadily, still a little shaken by the abnormal shock that had overtaken me when I'd awoken, and stopped at the window. I stopped out to the sky, it was a light gray and I could see the sun rising just below the clouds. I stuck my hand out to feel the temperature since it wasn't windy enough to push the air into the room. I shivered, the morning air was always chilly. I gripped the top of the window and slid it down. It went down easier then I would have expected, seeing as I never used it, but it didn't surprise. That was strange.

I slouched back into my bed, glancing at my clock. It was four in the morning and I was exhausted from all the nights of restless sleep I'd been having lately, but there wasn't a chance that I was going to close my eyes again just to be haunted by the same dream yet again. I let my mind wander, thinking over the last week and a half of my still dull life.

I'd spent the mornings reading and fidgeting, trying to find nonexisting busy work to keep me occupied until Alice arrived in the afternoon. I must have read _Romeo and Juliet_ more times then the Shakespeare even looked at it. I'd tried watching tv one day, that didn't work so well. Most of the time I'd end up doing what I used to do at the hospital, sitting in my room finding nonexisting patterns in the wood on my floors or on my quilt or other random places along the room. I'd been trying to figure out my school stuff myself without Alice's help, but it was so much easier hearing it in her voice. Whenever she explained the notes, they seemed to make a little more sense. At the rate I was moving with her, I might be able to go back to school in Forks when my month sentence is up. The only question was if I was going to stay.

I starred back at my clock. Time seemed to choose how it felt like moving here. Sometimes it'd flash by so fast that I'd do a double take, other times it'd move so amazingly sluggish that I could do my double take in slow motion and it'd appear to have taken the same amount of time. I groaned. I'd only kill fifteen minutes. I sat up and pulled _Wuthering Heights _towards me again. I hadn't looked at this book since before Alice had returned, I wasn't quite sure why that was. I killed a fair amount of time read it, but the whole time something was sitting uneasily in my stomach. It was that confused feeling again, something was telling me that a memory was buried deep in this book. I ended up throwing it aside as the bubble began pushing against my chest again.

By then it was about seven thirty. A fair enough time to get up and make Charlie breakfast. He said I was babying him far too much lately, always serving him big breakfasts and dinners, never once giving him leftovers. The main reason to this was because I had nothing better to do, so I always denied this and said I remembered doing things this way and this was how it'd been done. I was afraid he'd seen right through my lie, I'd said it with such low confidence, though it didn't particularly surprise me that he'd swallow this one, given the circumstances.

I tried to be as light on my feet as I could as I crept down the stairs. I stumbled on the second to last step and landed noisily at the bottom. I blushed despite myself and looked back up the stairs to see if I'd woken Charlie. Nothing stirred above me, so I backed into the kitchen. I turned and stifled a scream.

"Charlie!" I breathed. Oh how smart of me, I hadn't heard snoring this morning had I?

He starred at me through narrowed eyes with his arms crossed. "It's Saturday Bells." he groaned, dropping his hands in exasperation. "You won't even sleep in on Saturdays?!"

I was confused, I starred back at him vacantly. "I'm sorry?" I offered. He shook his head.

"Don't be sorry," he waved that away and shuffled over to a chair and lowered himself into it with a groan. "I just don't get why you do it. Why don't you go out?" He raised his head to look at me.

"I went shopping with Alice last night." I reminded him, shivering slightly at the memory. It had been absolutely terrible. Hours of sitting in dressing rooms, complimenting every outfit Alice tried on just for her to throw it at me and insist it wasn't right. I had barely gotten the chance to even get a single thing for myself, well that I had actually picked out at least. If I didn't like Alice so much, I would have ran away screaming.

"Well, maybe I phrased that wrong," he huffed, leaning back in the chair and crossing his arms again. "Why don't you go out _late_ and sleep in _late_ like a normal teenager?"

I starred at him, confused still. "Did I used to do that?" I questioned. I had no memory of really ever being a late sleeper.

"Well, no."

"Then what's the whole point of this interrogation again?"

Charlie grimaced at me. "I'm not sure that staying in Forks is the best idea for you Bells." he said warily. I looked away from him and exhaled sharply.

"I still have two weeks left before I have to decide, Dad." I whispered.

"Only twelve days kid." he corrected me. I turned back to him.

"What does it matter?" this was ridiculous! Was Renee threatening him or something? I never thought of her as much of violent type. Maybe she had changed in the time I'd forgotten . . .

"Just, I want you to be happy alright kid." his voice was anxious. It was like there was something nagging at him. An unpleasant memory, or something along those lines.

"Uh, thanks dad," I muttered, going over to the fridge and pulling out eggs. "Do you want an omelet?" I dismissed the topic the moment I had the opportunity. I didn't get what was bothering him so much that he'd want me to leave.

This morning was no different then the rest, starting with me making breakfast for Charlie and only picking at bits of mine. Then me cleaning up and then me being utterly bored and starring at the clock until Alice would arrive. I went up to my room around midday in a plan to maybe study a little. I laid down on my bed and pulled the textbook in front of me. I think I made it through one, maybe two pages before I passed out. It was the first time I'd been asleep for days without having that haunting nightmare. I must have been more tired then I had thought.

I was woken up by the shrill ring of the phone downstairs, I hadn't even realized I'd fallen asleep. I rushed down the stairs stumbling every few steps and snatched it up right before it hit the answering machine.

"Hello?" I asked breathlessly, looking at my disgruntled form in the reflection of the microwave. My hair was strewn all over my head like a haystack and my face had the look of a someone who had definitely just woken up. I rubbed my eyes.

"Hey Bella!" the always hyper voice of Alice chirped from the other line. My eyes snapped open and my head swung towards the direction of the clock. Alice was due in five minutes. . . oh no, I hope she wasn't calling to cancel, I had nothing else to do. I suppressed the moan, waiting to her news.

"What's up Alice?" I said, attempting to mimic her enthusiasm and failing miserably.

Alice chuckled. "I'm sorry Bella, I can't make it to our study session tonight," she sounded truthfully remorseful. I let the moan escape. "Oh, don't you go thinking I'd let you go a night without your fill of education. It might be Saturday, but your not getting out of this one." her tone was light and mocking. Who was coming then? "I'm sending Edward over, right as we speak. Hope you two have fun." She was teasing someone with these words, what was so funny about this? I'd told him to stay away! Although I still wasn't quite sure if that was what I wanted.

"Wait, Alice, no-" I started.

"I'll talk to you later Bells, bye!" She crooned before hanging up on me. I huffed impatiently and slammed the phone back down on the receiver. I felt a little off, maybe even a little light headed.

I think I was excited at the thought of Edward Cullen walking back through my doors.


	25. Chapter 24 News

_A/N- sorry, this chapters a bit short :)_

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**EPOV**

"Stop . . . end! Pleease. . ." as always, the stressful state of Bella's sleep worried me. She'd been blabbering on about the same thing for eleven nights now, each day getting more and more restless, waking earlier and earlier. I was beginning to fear for her well-being. She tossed around her bed again, resting on her stomach, face flat on her pillow. I tightened my grip on the armrests of her rocking chair to restrain myself from getting up and flipping her onto her back. Was it possible to suffocate in your sleep?

She flipped restlessly onto her back again and ran her hand halfway across her forehead before resting it there. "There has . . ." she whispered, her voice trailing off. There has what, Bella? I listened intently as her lips formed themselves around new words that escaped from her soft, warm lips. "Closer, not farther. Don't run, no, no run . . . far . . . far, far . . ." she repeated. Far what? What was far? Why not run?

Every night she'd been repeating the same nonsense. Always about something being so far away. I was dying to know what this was she was speaking of, but surely she wouldn't even remember when she woke. She didn't even know I was in here. "Gone." she whispered, catching me off guard. I shifted my full attention back to Bella. She shook for a second and began to curl back onto her left side when suddenly she snapped back, shaking her bed frame with a mute thud. She gasped and her eyes snapped open.

I was lucky that the rocking chair was so close to the window, otherwise I doubt I would have made it out in time. The moment she had gasped I was up and I had fled by the time her eyes were opened. But the window, I'd left that open. Bella, I'd learned, was extremely observant, she'd certainly notice that she hadn't had the window open when she'd fallen asleep. Some small part of me hoped that the window would trigger some small familiarity about me in her mind.

I didn't have to think about where I was going, I'd run this path so many times I wouldn't have been surprised if Ii had craved a path in the ground. Of course I ran to fast for that to ever become a reality. It was long until I'd leapt over the river and approached the house, an usual high flowed through my body and I couldn't quite define why.

Alice met me at the bottom steps. She was sitting straight up with her right foot tapping speedily with excitement. I sighed. Only two things could ever make Alice this excited, shopping and meddling. Both of which I'd rather _not_ be involved in if she was.

_Almost got caught there, eh smarts?_ Her thoughts teased me as she rose from the step and flitted next to me as I walked inside at a human pace, planning on going and changing for school. _I wonder what Bella would have thought, you know, if she'd found you watching her sleep. Probably the same as Emmett, ah crazy, obsessed vampire!_

I turned and scowled at her. "Don't you have someone else to go annoy?" I snapped. She shied away from my hostility for a second before she pressed her case further. I'll give her one thing, she sure was persistent.

"Jeez, you are no fun anymore Edward." she whined, pulling out a devastated look. That might have made me feel guilty for a good maybe, decade or two, but I'd grown immune to it. Her smug thoughts were enough to break the trance.

"Sorry to disappoint."

Alice sighed from behind me as she stopped short. I ignored her and kept walking up the stairs. _She's ready Edward._ I suppressed a groan and turned reluctantly to face her.

"I'm not in the mood for code talk, Alice." I groaned. I disliked how she had such amazing control with her wild thoughts around me, it wasn't fair. I had no way to hide from her visions unless I decided to go befriend a werewolf. Ha . . .

"I'm going on a hunting trip with Jazz and Rosalie for the next few days," she informed me as she rocked back and forth on her heals. Was it possible for vampires to have ADD?

"And. . . ?" I hinted. I still didn't follow where this conversation was going.

"And Bella will need a study partner," she smirked triumphantly, taking in my uplifted expression as understanding trickled in. :I don't want her to fall behind on her schoolwork when she's _already_ behind . . ."

I starred at her in overjoyed bewilderment. I quickly fought for control over my expression and tried to scowl at her. "You have to explain one thing to me though." I demanded. She raised one brow at me incredulously as her thoughts asked me what she could have possibly done wrong this time. "Why can't I show up earlier then three?!"

Alice laughed in relief. She smiled at me before she began to dance away.

_You two better behave. . . _


	26. Chapter 25 Study Session

**BPOV**

I didn't understand why the confusion was bubbling painfully in my chest as I rushed upstairs and got ready for Edward. I threw off my sweats and pulled on the first thing I saw, a new pair of jeans and a new light blue blouse. Alice had insisted that I get only blue shirts, or at least mostly, it made little sense to me, but I let her have her way hoping that I'd just be able to get home sooner. I was in the process of brushing my hair when someone tapped on the door. Oh no.

"Coming!" I called from my doorway as I rushed back in and quickly ran it through my hair once more. I rushed back down the steps, stumbling once or twice, and finally I pulled up to the door. I took a deep breath to calm myself. I didn't get why my heart had so suddenly decided to go berserk. I slowly pulled the door open and peaked out.

I tried to keep my breathing even as my eyes rested on the beautiful god-like features of Edward Cullen. I felt the urge to reach forward and touch his face, to make sure he wasn't just the mirage he appeared to be. "Hi." I breathed nervously, blood burning my cheeks immediately. I didn't look away though, I _couldn't. _

"Hello Bella." he crooned softly, his voice a beautiful velvety smooth that I hadn't been able to hear before. I couldn't prevent a smile from spreading involuntarily across my lips. I ducked my head, hoping he hadn't seen it. "Do I get to come in?"

I felt my blush deepen as I realized I was still peaking around the door. I nodded furiously and stepped aside, opening the door wider for him. He chuckled and stepped inside. I closed the door silently behind him and turned my back to it, leaning on it for support. I looked up to his golden eyes which were significantly lighter then the last time I'd seen them. They seemed to have a honey like glow as I starred into the depths of their beauty. It was like nothing I'd ever seen before.

I have no idea how long we stood like this, just starring into each others eyes, sending cryptic messages through them that neither of us could translate. After what felt like hours, yet only seconds, a breathtaking lopsided smile spread across his angelic face. "I believe I'm here to help you study?" He hinted and I nodded in embarrassment. He chuckled as I motioned for him to follow me. He followed soundlessly behind me as I stumbled up the stairs. I started to rush a little as I reached halfway up the stairs. I made it most of the way at the quickened pace but, to my extreme embarrassment, my foot caught the top step and I tripped forward.

I wasn't as surprised as I should have been when Edward's cool hands gripped my arms and lifted me up to my feet. I placed my feet slowly onto the ground and winced as my right foot went down. Ick. I hated it when I stubbed my toe. I took a step and wobbled a little. He was beside me in a second, holding me close to me and putting his hand on the small of my back. His touch sent electricity pulsing through my back and out the tips of my fingers and toes. I wouldn't have wiggled my way out if the bubble in my chest wasn't threatening to burst and blow me open.

"Sorry." I whispered as I walked stepped into my room, blush coloring my cheeks. He slid past me and gracefully placed himself onto my bed. It seemed strange how perfectly his seemed to belong there. He pulled my abandoned textbook onto his lap and patted the bed next to him, smiling sweetly at me. I fought to keep my breathing even as I took in his heavenly crooked grin. He cleared had to know he wasn't acting fairly. How was I supposed to focus on work when such a beautiful creature sat next to me making me feel things I didn't even understand?

I sat down carefully next to him. "How do you plan on me learning anything when you do that?" I demanded. He smiled down at me.

"Do what?" he asked, fake surprise coloring the curiosity burning in his voice.

"Distract me like that," I whispered, looking unseeingly at the textbook on his lap. "Dazzle me." He chuckled at this, I looked up to see the smile on his face growing. "What's so funny?" I wondered.

"You honestly don't remember me, not one bit of me?" his voice was pleading for me to say the opposite of what was true. I looked down, ashamed, as I shook my head sadly.

He sighed. "We might as well get started if it'll really be that hard for you to focus." he suggested, flipping through my textbook. I nodded in agreement and tried my hardest to pay attention to what he had to say.

It was surprisingly easier to study with Edward then it had been with Alice. It made me feel like I was used to learning all of these things with him, everything came back to me so easily, everything except for calculus though. I just figured it was because I had never been good at anything concerning math. The hours flew by at such a surprising pace I didn't even notice that Charlie arrived home from work late and went straight to bed, an unusual thing for him to do. Before I had even caught up with myself the room was lit up by the single lamp beside my bed. For the first time I looked away from Edward and my notes to the clock.

"What?!" I exclaimed out loud. It was ten, _already_?! "How did it get so late?!" I pouted.

Edward laughed at my expression. "Maybe I should leave." he suggested, reluctantly sliding off my bed and looking down at me with indecision in his eyes. I sighed.

"Okay," I agreed with as much reluctance as him. He laughed at this. I followed him out of my room and down the stairs. The bubbling confusion had been pounding against my chest throughout the whole study session and now was threatening yet again to burst. He stood at the door, waiting for me to stumble closer to him.

"Good bye Bella." he said softly, smiling his angelically. He turned and stepped out the door, shutting it behind him. I starred at it for a moment before ripping it open. I stuck my head out the door to see Edward still heading slowly down the walk.

"You'll come back tomorrow, right?" I asked, my voice taking a pleading edge. I couldn't explain why, but I _needed_ him to come back tomorrow. It was beginning to worry me, like I was one of those girls who obsessed over boy bands. It was worthless and I'd never get any of them.

"If you wish." he answered simply. I smiled and nodded greedily. "Then I shall see you tomorrow then Bella." I nodded again and slipped back through the door, feeling slightly faint. I hurried up to my room, afraid that I was going to collapse. I fell onto my bed. I hadn't eaten dinner, but I wasn't the slightest bit hungry.

I laid on my bed for a never ending amount of time just trying to calm the bubbling monster Edward had created in my chest.


	27. authors notice

_A/N- I'm soo sad to say but I'm not going to be home for a few days. It will be from 3-5 days and I dont think i'll be able to update within that time. but when I come back they'll be alot more chapters promise:)_

_I might get one more update on tonight, but after that you probably wont see anything new for a couple days, i'm so sorry to say!! I'll be back before you know it and i'll finish this for ya :)_

_A/N(10/28)- i'm adding an update tonight, might be like another twenty minutes. is it worth it or should I wait till tomorrow?_

_A/N- it'll be tomorrow, hold me to it. the minute I get off the train and home i will be typing it:) i'm sorry i kept you waiting for so long but I promise u u wont havta for much longer, I've got down how it ends and everything :) sorry again!_

_-Rossie_


	28. Chapter 26 Unfamiliar bubble

_A/N- don't expect anymore for a few days, but I might, JUST might be able to sneak on a computer while i'm away. maybe if I get enough reviews, i'll have more motivation too ;) check out the authors notice, leave a review and answer my question k? thanx so much;)_

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**BPOV**

The hallway seemed to be shorter tonight. The doors on my sides spaced further apart, less forbidding. I could reach out and brush my finger tips on the doorknob. It sent unwelcome tremors up my arm and I withdrew it. I wanted so badly to know what was behind it, to know what was haunting me every night. I starred at the door, a thing I'd been doing recently, wondering if it would ever happen, if I'd ever figure out what was mocking me with such smug satisfaction. I took a useless step forward, the door glided away from me. It was moving further from my step everyday.

I sighed, no, it was never going to happen. I took a step back, shying away from the cruel door that would never leave me. To my surprise, the door came _closer_ to me. I cautiously took another step backwards. The door was within my reach again. I had the urge to jump on it and wrestle it to the ground as if it were an animal and keep it from escaping me until I found out _why_ it was there. I one final small step backwards. I stretched my hand out to the door slowly, I didn't want to lose it now. I felt it, the silvery smooth metal under my hand, the electric pulse it sent radiating through my whole body that left my hand to my shoulder completely numb. Then it all slipped away.

No!

No, not now! I just got here! It'd taken _two weeks_! I grappled through the darkness, stretching my fingers through the air. It had to still be there, somewhere in this charcoal pit. I couldn't believe this! I finally got there and it just _disappeared_! I woke up with my face in the pillow, screaming.

I flipped onto my back, panting. I expected it to calm, to slow down, until I realized that my chest was throbbing with the bubble of confusion. "Not now!" I yelled at myself, wishing the bubble would just go away. I felt the need to poke a needle through my chest just to ease the pain it brought me. My efforts were wasted as the throbbing grew more pronounced at my words. I threw myself out of bed, throwing a quick look at the clock. It was seven, at least it wasn't too early for me to go downstairs.

I rushed down, taking the stairs two at a time, and tripped at the bottom step. I flew to the ground and landed hard on the floor. It sent pain piercing up my legs that only muted the pain that was growing in my chest. I threw my hands to the ground and hit it hard with two small fists. The answering thud was far louder then I'd expected. My hands were numb.

It wasn't until I saw water hitting the ground beside my hands that I realized I was crying. How strange of me not to feel the sobs shaking through my body. I crawled forward and stretched out my legs behind me. My right knee was bleeding, the cut was pretty deep, I'd splintered the wood on the old floors. Other then that I was unharmed. I took a deep breath and tried to keep the dizziness from getting to my head and walked unsteadily back up the stairs to clean the small gouge in my leg.

I tried to keep my mind away from the horrifying nightmare that had filled my mind over the night. I couldn't allow myself to think of how close I'd been, so I let my mind wander to the usual topic it settled with. I had one week left.

I had spent the last five days the same as all the others, only now instead of Alice coming and studying with me I was accompanied by Edward. Nothing had changed, every moment was full of awkward silence and meaningless blushes. Every now and then though, I'd look into his eyes and see something . . . something familiar maybe? It was hard to describe because the moment I looked I would have to look away just as fast, the bubble would throb painfully, beating with my heart. I was learning though, so much better then I had with Alice, even though Edward was such a distraction whenever he smiled at me.

After I cleaned my knee off and had it safely bandaged I headed downstairs to clean up the evidence. I was faintly dizzy as I cleaned the small pool of blood I'd left, but I would have felt far worse if it hadn't been my blood. I sauntered into the kitchen, suddenly hungry, the moment the blood was gone and I'd done my best to beat the wood back into place. A note rested on the counter and I slunk over and read it. Bella, it read

_I'm out fishing with Billy for today, I'll be back around five/five-thirty, be ready to go over to his house for dinner. Sorry Bells, you don't have a choice -Charlie_

I grimaced. Since when did Charlie make decisions for me? I was positive that this didn't happen even before I forgot everything. I sighed as I pushed it aside and headed to the fridge. I was bound to have to deal with Jacob sooner or later. He had been my best friend, I shouldn't be ignoring him like this anyway. And I think I missed him. I really didn't know anymore. I didn't recognize much of my emotions, I needed to learn yoga.

I ate breakfast, keeping it simple with just cereal. I lazed around, doing some of my school work, answering an email to Renee, and pondering what I was going to do. I knew I couldn't leave Alice, but she truly was one of the only reasons I was seeing in staying right now. I was dying to be rid of this obnoxious bubble of confusion filling my chest, granting me much annoyance. Still though, I was afraid of how it would feel if I were to actually leave. Something inside of me snapped at the thought of it, but I couldn't figure out what beneath the intense throbbing of the bubble.

I was lying up on my bed thinking this all over when the usual tapping on the door woke me from my trance. I'd completely forgotten that Edward was still coming over today, this put me on the defense. I ran a brush through my hair and didn't bother to change out of my sweats. I was in my house, I should be able to dress how I want I decided in my mind. I was careful going down the stairs to prevent myself from falling again, I didn't need another replay of this morning. I threw the door open and stood to the side, allowing him to come in. He smiled at my subtle greeting and stepped inside like any other day.

"Hello Bella," he greeted me like he had for the past five days. "How's your day been?" I made a face, clearly it amused him for he laughed. His laughter knocked the breath out of me and I doubled over and felt my knees shake. Ow, oh my god, since when had the bubble caused me this much _pain_! I fought to regain my breath and found myself just hyperventilating. What was going on here?!

His cold hands grabbed my hunched shoulders and tried to shake me from my rigid posture. "Bella, Bella what's wrong?" His right hand cupped my clammy face and tilted my chin so he could look into my eyes.

I yelled in the agony that looking him directly into the eye brought me. It tingled now, although that couldn't fully describe it. All I knew is that it was unfamiliar and, as far as I was concerned, unwelcome. I shied away from his touch. The moment his cold hands left my body it became . . . bearable, to some extent. I looked up at him, panting, in complete awe.

"What was that?" we both asked at the same time, though neither of us laughed. I cringed away from the sound of his voice as it irritated the bubble.

"Why do you do that?" I wasn't quite sure if I was asking Edward or the bubble of unfamiliarity. I felt Edward's eyes burning into my back until I finally looked up and met his gaze.

"Do what, what did I do, Bella?" his voice was burning with irritation and curiosity. I fought to keep my breathing even.

"The pain, the unfamiliarity, the confusion right here," I tried to explain in multiple different ways, though I could tell he wasn't going to understand that way. I pointed at my chest where the bubble was. "It hurts, or something like that, whenever I see you or think about you or anything like that. I, I just don't get it." I blushed and looked away, feeling like a crazy loser.

Edward reached for me but thought better of it. "I don't understand Bella, do you want me to leave?" Despite his efforts to hide it, I could hear pain coloring his tone. I shook my head urgently, too quick in response.

"No, no, let's go study." I ordered, forcing myself to straighten up. I took a deep breath and gave him an assuring nod. He motioned for me to lead the way. I stumbled up the stairs and roughed it out, despite the crippling feeling in my chest. We stayed focused on my schoolwork for quite sometime until Edward brought up the time.

"It's been two hours, you want to take a short break?" He suggested, his voice light. We were much farther ahead in my work then was expected. I could go back to school next Monday and wouldn't have all that much difficulty keeping up. I stole a glance at the clock, it was quarter to five. I gasped."What's wrong?"

"I just forgot," I told him as I jumped up and looked through my drawers for something to wear. "Charlie's forcing me to go to Billy's for dinner tonight." I heard his jaw clench. I turned around to see why that was and gasped again, dropping the clothes in my hands.

His face looked deadly, a look of pure hatred etched across his god-like features. He looked like a monster and then a memory from weeks ago clicked into my head. The tense face off in front of this house, Edward's deadly crouch, Jacob's menacing posture as he shook . . . he shook with anger. And I could tell, no I _knew_ there was something extremely deadly about his anger. Maybe that's why I'd thrown myself between them. I hadn't understood it then, why I'd thrown myself between two total strangers, but I felt that I wouldn't have lived had one of them gotten hurt in front of my eyes when I could have done something to stop them.

"Edward-"

"You're _not_ going, Bella." I cringed away from the acid in his tone. I composed myself and scowled back at him.

"What makes you think you can tell me what I can or can't do?" I demanded, trying to deliver just as much acid as he did and failing miserably.

"Bella, trust me, you-"

"'Bella, trust me'?!" I repeated angrily. "Oh no, I'm going Edward, you have no right to tell me what I can't do!" I gasped again and doubled over as the aching in my chest grew as my voice got higher.

"Bella-" Edward started to protest, but Charlie cut him off, calling to me from downstairs. I straightened up, panting slightly at the pain.

"Charlie's home," I whispered, narrowing my eyes at him. He looked at me, awaiting my verdict. I saw the true concern, the worry for me deep in his golden eyes. I didn't quite understand fully why he was so worried about me going over to my old best friends house. There was something else in his eyes too, hatred. Oh, so that was it. The only reason he didn't want me to go was because he hated him. Prejudice, foolish boy. I shook my head at him

"I'm going to Jacob's." I spat before turning on my heel and heading out of my room. His cold arms caught my waist. I was too distracted to notice the pressure the bubble imploded against my chest.

"Don't, please, don't go." he pleaded. I shouldn't have looked up, I should have avoided his eyes. They burned into mine. The hatred had all but vanished and was replaced with fresh worry and stress and a third emotion I wasn't familiar with. I shook my head in an attempt to clear it.

"I'm sorry," I said, weaseling my way out of his arms. "Will you still come tomorrow?"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "I don't know." I starred after him as he glided down the stairs and out the door with mute infuriation.

Should I really have done that?


	29. Chapter 27 Realization

_A/N- hope u like this . . . hehe review plzzzz:D_

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**BPOV**

I knew Edward didn't like Jacob, but I didn't know he hated him so much that he'd refuse to see me just because I was going to see him. I didn't even have much of a say in the matter anyway. It took me a few minutes to recover from Edward's hostility and realize that Charlie was calling me out to his cruiser. I stood in mute horror as he waved me towards him. No _way_ was I arriving at Jacob's in Charlie's police cruiser. Besides, something about the last time I saw Jacob told me that I would most likely end up leaving before Charlie was wanted to.

"I think I'll take my truck," I called back, grabbing my jacket and preparing to step into the mist. "Is that cool, dad?" I didn't want to appear rude. Charlie took a moment to respond as he debated with himself on whether he should let me drive by myself. I stared at him awaiting his verdict patiently.

"Sure kid," Charlie finally replied somewhat reluctantly. "Just follow me, I'll show you how you get there." I nodded and walked down the short path to the curb where my decrepit truck sat. I was in love with this truck even if I had no memory of ever driving it. I slid in and slipped the key into the ignition. The roar of the engine spiked my blood with adrenaline and I felt as if I were purring with it for the slight second in sounded healthy. The moment I shifted gears the engine chocked and roared unsteadily. I inched along at a comfortable pace trying to keep up with Charlie without over exerting my truck. It wasn't anymore then fifteen minutes later that the first houses of La Push came into view. Just minutes later Charlie's cruiser took a turn into a small driveway in front of a small wooden house with narrow windows painted a dull red paint that reminded me of the color of a barn.

It took a grand total of five seconds before Jacob burst out the door and bounded down the steps. The moment I was out of my truck he was right in front of me. He opened his arms wide, inviting me to join in a hug. I crossed my arms and looked up at him as it began to drizzle. His face dropped.

"Are you still mad at me?" Jacob asked, his voice so heartbreakingly sad that I couldn't help but soften my expression a little.

"Listen Jake," his name fell uneasily from my tongue. "I don't remember much, but I _do_ remember hearing you lie to me about something that is obviously more important then I'm informed of. Do _you_ remember that Jake?" I tilted my head to the side as I waited for a response. Charlie had gone inside to chat with Billy, I was grateful for the privacy.

Jacob looked up at the rain and pulled his jacket to use it to umbrella the rain for me. "You're going to freeze, let's go in the garage." he suggested, pulling me along before I had the chance to protest.

I followed grudgingly in his small garage that looked like no more then a couple of preformed sheds bolted together with their interior walls knocked out. He sat down on a makeshift couch, a double car seat, and patted the seat next to him. I crossed my arms again and shook my head.

"Jake, I want the truth." I demanded, narrowing my eyes at him. He stared back innocently.

"About what, Bells?" his voice rang with fake sweetness.

"About you and Edward," a pleading edge was beginning to color my tone as I realized how desperate I was to know, to remember. "About _me_ and Edward."

"You haven't asked Charlie?" his tone colored with disbelief as his eyes widening in surprise. I laughed, a short burst that was immediately replaced with a scowl.

"You think I'd ask Charlie about Edward Cullen?" I snorted, remembering when I'd told him Edward was going to help me study instead of Alice. I hadn't though much of Edward before that in all honesty. "When I just told him that Edward was helping me study he turned red, and then deep purple. I was lucky to get away alive. You think I'd get anymore truth out of him then I've got from you?"

Jacob grimaced as he studied my expression. "He can seriously do you some damage, Bella." he whispered, his face forbidding.

"I think you can too." I replied coldly, but truthfully all the same. He grimaced again, his face twisting up in agony. I recoiled, wishing I could take back what I had just said to wipe away his pained look. I knew I wouldn't though, if it worked.

"He hurt you more then I ever could." he vowed, his whisper barely audible. I looked into his round black eyes. They were exhausted, ancient as old, painful memories clouded his eyes and I found that I couldn't doubt him this time.

"Nothing here is what it seems, right." it wasn't a question. "I don't belong in the mix of it all." Not a question, or a statement. To me, it was an explanation. The explanation to the question I'd been debating over for the past three and some odd weeks. There were things that happened here that I would never again understand. Things that had taken time for me to ingest last time because I'd been _given_ that time. Nothing was going to return to the normality to which I'd been so safely nestled into prior to my fall. Nothing was going to come back. I'd over heard Carlisle telling this to Charlie, that since I hadn't remembered on my own by now the chances of a full recovery were slim to none.

None. The word echoed through my hollow head. I felt a shiver rack through my empty body as my realization dawned on me. I shouldn't, couldn't, stay any longer. I couldn't handle this undying bubble in my chest, the feeling of the hectic confusion, of knowing that it was right there but no being able to reach it. I would do what Charlie had asked of me and bring the only happiness I knew of right now. Relief. Relief brought from the release of the hold the bubble chewing away my chest had.

"Bella?" Jacob had remained silent as I had realized what I had to do. I jumped and met his concerned gaze.

"I'm leaving, Jacob." I finalized as I braced for the oncoming explosion.

His eyes widened. "No!" he pleaded. "Don't! Don't go! No one will hurt you anymore, promise. It'll just take a little more time!" He scooted to the edge of the seat and took my right hand into both of his overheated hands. "Please don't leave me, Bells. All it take is a little more time. I can help, really I can."

I looked down at him in remorse as I pulled my hand from his weakened grip. I pulled his right palm up to my face. "I'm so sorry Jake," I whisper into it. "I don't know what else to do anymore, my time is already spent." I kissed his palm and pushed it back to him, turning my back. "Bye Jake."

I scurried back into the rain and out to my truck. I was glad it was pouring and that the water disguised my tears. The sounds of my sobs were drowned out with the roar of my trucks engine as I pulled onto the road. I was going to have to call Renee, find some way to ignore the Cullens and deal with Charlie. At least two out of those three weren't going to be all that hard.

I only hoped that I was finally making the right choice.


	30. Chapter 28 Gone

_A/N- I'm sooooo veryyy sorry to say but the final two chapters will not be on until next monday at the latest. I was so smart as to leave the journal that I wrote the next chapter in in my parents car in nyc which is now in new jersey. i'm sorry to make you wait!! leave a review on this chapter, maybe i can find a way to get it on sooner . . . ? :)_

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 **EPOV**

I couldn't believe what I'd done. What I'd said. Was it possible for me to be any stupider? No. The answer to that question was definitely no. No else had just ditched the person they love just because her dad is forcing them to go see their mortal enemy. How _stupid_! What if she doesn't _want_ me back now! How could I have said such foolish things.

Of course I would go back to her. I wish I could hold her small, fragile figure close to my body again. Feel her warmth course through my dormant veins and welcome the fire that would lick my throat at her smell as I bent down to kiss the top of her head. I could faintly feel the fire in my throat at the thought of that. It'd been too long. When I used to daydream of this I would feel the fire nearly as strong as if it were really happening. Now it was no more then a mere uncomfortable itch in the pit of my throat. This was wrong.

If it weren't for the damned treaty my family had with the dogs over in La Push I would have ran over to Jacob's house right now and hold Bella until her mind was forced to break down the brick wall that had been built between her memory of me. I felt like a drug addict that was going through withdraw. I needed Bella.

I felt dizzy. Was that even possible for vampires? I needed to go somewhere where I felt at ease. I couldn't go to the meadow. Too much pain from the memories it held. The one place I didn't want to go is where I found my feet leading me. I didn't need to deal with Alice right now, but something told me that I had to. I allowed my feet to go into autopilot. They knew the way better then my mind.

I collapsed on the front porch. I felt a million different things at once, all of which were impossible for me. Things I hadn't felt since I was human and I had no memory of how they truly felt. First off, I felt tired. Probably mentally tired from stress, I noted. I felt dizzy. Maybe from my disbelief and desire. A headache. Frustration, definitely. And a final emotion that I had never felt before as a vampire. I couldn't quite place my finger on it. Despair? Surely I've felt that before, when I left Bella perhaps? When she I thought she was dead. No this wasn't despair. What was it then?

_Edward._ I didn't need to turn my head to respond to this. Alice and I were good at these conversations.

"What." I mumbled so low that even I had trouble hearing it. I guess it was just loud enough for Alice to hear it.

_You're home early._ She observed as she drifted down to my side.

"Bella went over to Jacob's." I scoffed. Alice sighed.

_I'm sorry. I should have told you that her future disappeared this evening. _Of course she'd find a way to blame herself. It was never her fault though. It was always, _always_ mine.

"You have nothing to apologize for Alice."

_What about not having someone watch Bella when I knew it was going to be icy?_ She tried.

"I should have done that." I groaned. That sure helped me feel better. "Damn it Alice, why hasn't Carlisle told her about me?!" I demanded, turning my head to face her and make sure I got the truth.

She grimaced and recoiled at my deadly expression. I did look quite hostile. I tried to compose myself. _He doesn't wish to interfere himself. He avoids the questions at all costs. Hey, take it up with him. I told her the truth._ She put her hands up in a surrender as a snarl ripped through my teeth as I digested the betrayal of my father.

"I will." I snapped at her as I flashed up from the bottom step and into the house. It took a second for Alice to catch up with me. By then I was making my way up the staircase to Carlisle's office.

_Be rational, Edward._ She pleaded as my more violent plans flashed in front of her eyes. She looked at me in concern. _You wouldn't._

I sighed and changed my course of action. "No, I wouldn't," I admitted, my voice still cold and colored with acid. "Happy? Now leave." Alice scowled at me before dancing away.

I tapped on the Carlisle's door before I entered, though I didn't wait for a response. He was bent over a large book with such small handwriting I doubted human eyes could read them without glasses. His head snapped up in curiosity upon my rude entrance. _Edward?_

I stared him in the eyes for a moment before speaking. "Why Carlisle?" was all I managed. I felt my anger slipping away. Desperation was taking its place. Trickling into my motionless veins and spreading as if they could still do so. It washed away all the confusing human emotions I'd been feeling before except for one. The one that I hadn't been able to figure out before. Only now, without as many other things to consider, I realized what it was.

It was worse then despair. No, it was the awful pain that came before that. It was the dam that released all the rest, the pain that the twig felt as it snapped. I wasn't sure if there was a word for it, all I knew was something very bad was about to happen and I needed Alice. I couldn't tell the future. But I sure was doing a good job foreseeing this.

_Edward I-_ Carlisle started to defend but my hand snapped up to silence him. He controlled his thoughts as I searched for control over my lips.

"I need Alice." I said slowly before dashing from the room and down the stairwell. She met me halfway.

_Edward I, I'm so sorry. I wish there was something we could do._ Her thoughts did nothing. No comfort came from the soft, gentle sound of her thoughts. All that I could see was the decision that Bella had just made for her future.

The feeling became more pronounced as the twig snapped under the weight of despair. I felt something snap audibly in my chest, though no one else seemed to hear it. I doubled over and grabbed at my torso, yearning to find the source of the pain, to pull it back together. I felt winded, although I knew this wasn't possible. I didn't even need to breath. I'd always thought that being with Bella brought out the humane side of me. I guess being away while still being so close brought the same effect.

_Edward, please, calm down. _Alice reached for me, she tried to grab my arm before I had the chance to escape. She was too late. I was out the door and her hand closed around air. She looked up desperately at me as I paused at the door to look back. _Please Edward, don't leave us again._

I turned and sprinted. I didn't know where I was going now. I didn't know where my feet would end up taking me before they broke away from under me. All I cared was that I wasn't going to get flooded with the dam that had just burst in my chest by standing in one place for too long. I couldn't handle that kind of misery when I couldn't even release the water myself. I couldn't believe this. I wondered if this is what Bella felt when I had left her. The feeling of knowing she didn't love me anymore was unbearable. I would never live this down. I let my world slip away from under me, my feet taking off leaving Edward Cullen behind me.

As far as Alice knew, I was never coming back.

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_A/N- omgg plzzz so many ppl are reading this all it takes is a press of a button and two seconds of ur timeee please review!! :)_


	31. Chapter 29 Final face off

_A/N- FINALLY!!!! ahaa my mom got discharged from the hospital wayyyy earlier then normal people do :) this was my favorite chapter to write. i'm not posting another chapter until I get ten more reviews so start clickin that little button if u want to read the end cuz its already all written:D_

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**BPOV**

It was my final face off it felt, between me and this door from Hades. I could almost feel the smugness radiating off it from where I stood, so far away. This dream had always been so vivid to me, the one dream I had almost complete control over my actions. Most dreams told me what to do. I took a cautious step back followed by another and another as the door inched closer to me. I didn't dare to speed up, I would get there if it took me all night. I kept going until it was within my reach. I stretched my fingers towards it, my mind fixed in determination. I could feel the electricity from where I stood, I could sense it pulsing through my body before I had made contact. The knob was smooth, marble like, and cold, very cold, yet it brought me comfort and I smiled. My arm quickly grew numb as the electricity pumped higher voltages. The knob seemed to mold itself perfectly to my touch as if it had been meant for me alone the entire time.

It dawned on me that I hadn't slipped or been forced to let go yet. This took me by surprise. I stared down at my hand to see it still clutched tightly around the handle. I examined the door, maybe this was a trick. It was glowing, sparkling as if it were made of a million diamonds just below a thin crystal surface sending off the most magnificent rainbows I had ever seen. I felt my heart accelerate as my wrist began to turn to open the door.

No.

_No freaking way!_

IT WAS LOCKED!

The door rattled as I repeatedly turned my wrist. It was useless. No, it couldn't be! I placed both hands on the knob and pulled, shook and bashed against the magnificent door. It was pointless, the door wasn't going to budge. It wouldn't have any of this trying to be moved either. The sparkling began to fade, one by one each rainbow burst into dull gray shadows. The handle turned out against my hand, no longer fitting comfortably to my grip. I was falling, the blackness of despair engulfing me yet again. NO! I'd gotten so far! It had been so beautiful! Just let me see what it stores, just a small peak! I gripped at the air. It was worthless, I had lost. Maybe I'd just never know . . .

I awoke screaming into my pillow again. I didn't bother to calm myself, to comfort the throbbing bubble in my chest, to slow my breathing down to its normal pattern. Instead I curled up and allowed my sobs to shake through me. It had been so beautiful, so close, I'd been just beside what it had in store but I had no _key_. I couldn't believe that it would end like this, me knowing I could reach it, hold it, but not knowing what was stored behind it. More breathless sobs shook my paralyzed form. I pulled my knees to my chest and focused on my breathing,

So, today was the big day. The day I going down to Jacksonville to live with Renee, to start over. To escape this bubble inside my chest and this horrible nightmare that offered no mercy. I was almost instantly comforted at that thought. The reminders that this would all soon be over and behind me washed relief through my system and drowned out my tears. It took me a few minutes more, but soon my breathing was stable enough for me to pull on my brave face. I had last minute packing to do and I still had to cook breakfast for Charlie. He'd insisted for me to not worry about making him anything to eat this morning, but I could see the sacrifice he was putting himself through to willingly give me back to Renee.

I threw a few things that I hadn't packed in the direction of my few bags before ducking out of my room and cautiously heading down the stairs to make breakfast. I was relieved to hear that Charlie was still snoring, at least he wouldn't be able to stop me. He must have adjusted to my screaming, although in all honesty I didn't think I'd been screaming so much that he'd already be immune to the sound of it. I wondered if I'd ever screamed like that before.

I threw together some pancake mix and put some bacon on the stove. I was just finishing flipping the last pancake when I heard Charlie shuffling down the stairs. He rounded the corner and stopped short.

"What's this?" Charlie demanded, his eyes scrutinizing over the breakfast I'd made him. I felt terrible, his voice was scratchy and his eyes were red and puffy. I didn't realize how very much Charlie was going to miss me. "I told you not to worry about breakfast."

I winced when I heard his voice crack. If he was even trying to guilt me into staying, it was working very well. "I woke up early and I felt the need to give you a going away meal." I tried to state with authority but I could barely manage a whisper as I watched Charlie's face twist up in agony at the words "going away". Charlie sighed and sniffed, though it was barely audible. I wasn't going to stick around for the waterworks, I poured to glasses of orange juice, giving one to Charlie I took mine upstairs claiming I had more packing to do. It's not like I could eat, the bubble filled my hollow body and sat uneasily in my stomach.

I packed away the few things that were straying around my room. I scanned my room to make sure nothing was forgotten. I felt that, other then the imploding bubble, I was empty. Like a part of me was dying. I dropped to my knees and checked under my bed, though I expected no more then dust bunnies and maybe a forgotten dirty sock or two.

I stuck my hand into the darkness and waved it around, throwing back the dust bunnies, when my hand collided with something solid. It was smooth, bulky and cold. Confused, I tilted my head in an attempt to see my discovery. I didn't _remember_ putting anything down there . . .

I pulled the object out from under my bed and dusted it off. It was a small shiny CD player with my case of CD's on top. I'd totally forgotten that I'd thrown this under here after the had resulted in the start of my never ending nightmare. I shrugged and tossed it carelessly over my shoulder and on top of my stuff.

.

I was too much of a coward to call Jacob or Alice and say good bye. After I was completely ready and Charlie was, more or less, ready to take me to the airport, we headed out. I was taking my last duffle, surprised that I'd even had to make two trips, out to Charlie's cruiser when the phone rang. Charlie shooed me out promising he'd follow right after. I shuffled out into the rain, passing my truck from when it sat on the curb. It looked so lonely today, actually appearing as old and beat up as it really was. I was disappointed that Charlie didn't trust it enough to go to Seattle with it.

I tossed the duffle in the back seat, not in the mood to open the trunk again, and slid into the passengers side. Five, maybe ten minutes passed and Charlie still didn't come out. I couldn't think to hard about what I was doing because I was afraid I'd find an excuse to stay. I couldn't close my eyes either, the blackness just reminded me of the despair, the feeling of being _so close._ I needed a distraction, I searched around the cruiser drawing a blank. I huffed, throwing myself back into my seat. I settled with the radio, reaching forward I searched through the stations. Nothing good was playing so I reached to turn it off again when I remember I had my CDs. I never had finished listening to that beautiful lullaby . . .

No, I couldn't listen to that. That was what had awoken my painful bubble of unfamiliarity. But maybe if I had just listened to it for just a little longer then I would have had a different reaction . . .

I didn't search for anymore excuses not to listen to the enchanting melody the moment I found an okay excuse _to_ listen to it. I threw myself around and tore through my duffle for it. The moment my fingers met the CD player it was out of the duffle and in my hands. I popped it open and withdrew the CD. I spun back around and slid it carefully into the CD slot. Te moment I pressed play I realized this had been a bad choice.

I double over instantly at the pain of the bubble pounding roughly against my ribs, begging to be released. My breathing sped up and my heart soared. It was freezing, even in Charlie's warming car, but sweat was forming along my hairlines. Tears clouded my eyes as I fought for the strength to reach up and turn off the music. The song hit what must have been the chorus and I froze, air escaped me in a sharp huff. My eyes glazed over, I think I must have lost consciousness.

I was in the hallway again, standing what seemed like miles away from the door at the end. I wanted to race backwards, to backpedal as fast as possible and force the door to open. I fought the urge and began slowly backing towards the door. Light began to fill the forbidding walk as the door drew closer. I could feel the electricity generating through me and my finger tips stretched out in anticipation.

The cold marble handle found my palm at last, molding itself to a perfect fit as it had previously. It sparkled magnificently as the light around me brightened until the black room shone white. It couldn't have been more beautiful as the millions of rainbows decorated the room. I stood in awe, taking in the beauty this terrible door had held for me all along. Maybe this was it, I decided as I turned back to the blinding door. Maybe it's ready to open for me, ready to reveal its secret. My heart jumped up my throat, sending my breaths out fast, as the door handle spun with my wrist. I pushed.

Nothing.

I didn't bother gripping the handle with two hands, pushing and beating at the door again. This would just result in the pit of despair. The beauty of the room began to dull to me, though I had no longing to revisit the blackness before regaining consciousness. The light began to fade now, despite my frantic pleads for it to stay. The rainbows were fading back into the gray shadows before turning into black specks on the wall. I could feel the sobs racking through my body already. I lowered my head slowly and rested my forehead against the door. _I give up._

I couldn't tell if I was waking up or still dreaming as I felt something shift from under me. First, the door began to shrink and become more solid, more marble like. The light slowly began drifting back around me, though everything was hazy. The cold handle my hand still rested on grew thinner, taking on the qualities of a hand as long fingers wove their way through mine. I tried to look up, but for once the dream was in control of what I would do. Rainbows danced on the ground by my feet. The dream allowed my head to glance sideways to see the walls were filled with similar rainbows. Even in the hazy state my eyes were in it was obvious that these rainbows were far more beautiful then the ones the door had given off just moments ago.

I looked down to where the handle had just been. A pale hand had replaced it, its long fingers woven through mine. Some of the exquisite rainbows were dancing around it and bouncing away to help fill the white walls and floor. The numbness that had been fogging my brain began to trickle away and remembrance gradually took its place. I knew this hand, those long, pale, frozen fingers. I fought against the dream's will, snapping my head up. My breath got caught in my throat.

I was trapped in the golden gaze of a pale god. His bronze hair was shimmering in the cascade of rainbows, his golden eyes burning back into mine. For too long this face had held a mystery behind it. For too long I'd kept my distance from it, flinching away from contact. It'd been far too long since I'd been able to recall who this beautiful creature and realize he _was_ mine. I stretched up on my toes, a thing I now recalled I'd always done to see his face better. His smile was dazzling, it sent even more captivating rainbows to decorate the gleaming white room. He smelled amazing, I'd gone too long without this lingering near my nostrils. I leaned in, lilacs, honeydew maybe. Hard to explain what was complimenting it so well. I leaned in further to get a better whiff when he vanished from in front of me. I stumbled forward into alertness.

The bubble burst.

My longed for answer oozed out like puss, only it wasn't revolting, it was a great relief.

The nightmare had been the answer all along, the key to understanding, to remembering. It had been waiting for me to figure it out on my own and now I had, it all made complete sense. I had had to go backwards because I wasn't searching for something that my future held, it was my memory of the past. I'd been too anxious, too impatient for answers, when I reached the door several times previously, that was why I'd always slipped into the dark. I'd been ready to throw it open and take whatever it held. When I'd finally reigned all my patience in I'd been too anxious yet again to get inside. I'd thrown myself at it in a mad plead for answers. The whole time my memory had been waiting for me to surrender, to give it my mind to do as they pleased. When I had placed my head against the door without a fight, I'd surrendered. I'd given them the signal to stop the fight. It was all coming back now, and I would do _nothing_ to prevent that.

The past year and a half flowed in, my schoolwork, my accomplishments– the few I had– my friends, my _memory_. The door, I now realized, had been my greatest, most valued memory locked deep in the back of my ming. It had always had the qualities of a vampire, why I had never noticed before was beyond me. But nevertheless, I remember him now, in perfect clarity. Edward, my undying love for him and why he had created the bubble in my chest. The unfamiliarity had been my love for him all along, bottled up and stored in my chest. There hadn't been anywhere near enough room in there, I had suffered the pain of that. I loved him far more then most humans were capable of.

My eyes snapped open and I pulled up straight as I remembered where I was. _What was I thinking?!_ I burst out of the idle cruiser, past Charlie who was now only a few steps away from my side and into the house. If Alice had told him by now there was little time left for me to do anything before he was beyond my reach. Beyond everyone's reach.

I snatched up the phone, my fingers running over the familiar number. "Hello?" a voice that I had not been hoping for answered after the first ring, I couldn't say I was particularly surprised that she would be answering Edward's phone, but it did finalize my fears.

"Alice," I breathed. "I need you help."


	32. Chapter 30 Memory

_A/N- enjoyyy cause its getting close to the end :) i'm not posting another chapter until I get ten reviews. alotta people just read and don't review so ten shouldnt be a problem ;) hehe its already written so anytime . . .:) i'm glad u guys are liking this it might be different then anyone woulda suspected ;)_

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**BPOV**

"Why on earth should I help _you_, Bella?" Alice snapped stubbornly at me.

I groaned. I couldn't say I'd expected any less then this. Maybe even more. I deserved this, to say the least. I'd forgotten my best friend. My entire portion of the life that mattered.

"Alice, don't tell me that your wacky visions have told you what I can't put into words!" I pleaded in a desperate attempt for her to realize that in some miraculous event I'd regained my memory on everything that mattered.

"Bella you-" she stopped short of her ranting and her breathing cut off as my words trickled into her head and she realized the true meaning of what I'd just claimed. She gasped so suddenly that I jumped and then dropped the phone as her shrill scream receded from the phone seconds later, three octaves higher then I could ever accomplish. "BELLA! BELLA YOU REMEMBER! DO YOU REMEMBER ME! OH MY, OH MY, OH MY! THIS IS AMAZING!"

I held the phone an arm's length away from my ear and heard the words in perfect clarity as Alice shrieked with pleasure. I couldn't help but smile. I hadn't expected her to forgive me so suddenly, if that's what this meant. I didn't dare to cut in as she continued.

"Oh so this means you're staying!" she mused happily. I swear I could hear her clapping and would bet anything she was dancing around the house right now. "We have so much shopping to catch up on, you've missed so much between us and the pack, oh that's for sure. Oh Edward-" she cut off and my voice caught in my throat.

Edward? Why did she stop at the arrival of his name? What was wrong here! It took me a moment to recover from the fear that had paralyzed me and locate my voice again. "Alice?" I whispered, though I felt as if I were screaming as loud as she had been. "What's wrong with Edward?" my voice broke in fear. She didn't answer.

"Alice?!" my voice was on the edge of hysteria. How bad had I hurt him in the time I'd been . . . gone seemed like the appropriate term. Or worse, had Alice seen my decision and told him? What could he have done . . . ? Panic overwhelmed me as the possibilities of what Edward could have thrown himself into rushed to my head. I swayed unsteadily as I realized I'd stopped breathing.

"Bella, breath." Alice commanded as she noticed the lack of the sound of my breathing. She drew a ragged breath herself, confirming me of my fears. I obeyed and let go of my breath and inhaled deeply, the sudden burst of oxygen sending my head in circles. I stumbled to the wall and slide down to the ground.

"What's wrong with Edward?" I repeated mechanically.

"He . . . left." she whispered as she searched for the appropriate words. "And he had no . . . intentions on coming back."

The phone slipped from my hands as the words clicked into my brain. I saw the blackness and felt the sweet relief of my black pit engulfing me. I clung to the small cliff I was balancing unsteadily on. I breathed in heavily, trying to prevent myself from hyperventilating and drawing myself closer to the black pit. I was afraid that if I surrendered now then my memory would go with my consciousness.

"No Alice," I choked into the receiver as I managed to weakly hold the phone a little past my shoulders. No one else would have heard my voice. "He didn't."

"Oh no, Bella he didn't go to Italy," she spluttered as she realized my misinterpretation. Relief washed through my body. "Although he didn't consider it." I gasped and fought to keep my breathing even at that thought. She rushed to continue. "He ran up to Canada, considered stopping in Alaska, but decided against it. He came back down. Last I saw he was in the woods somewhere. It looks familiar, but he's not staying where-" she gasped loudly again. I tensed up.

"Bella, quickly get to the road, I'll be there in a moment."


	33. Chapter 31 Nowhere near

_A/N- really, really short chapter this one is. Butttt good news. NEXT CHAPTER IT ALL GOES DOWN!!!!! in other words this is the second to last chapter/entry my friends:) review, leave a guess on where you think he's going. I'm not posting the final chapter until I get fifteen more reviews cause believe me I know well over that many people read each chapter. Well over a _hundred_ people read my chapters people;)_

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**EPOV**

I couldn't recall the past week very well. All I knew was that it involved running, and a lot of it. I was lucky not to be human. My legs would be aching, my feet probably burnt from the speed at which I soared across the land, and I'd be starved. I was pretty thirsty to tell the truth, but that was at the least of my worries.

Today was the day that had brought me out here in the first place. I placed at an clearing in the mountainside I was scaling to look out at the sunrise. The sky was glowing a luminescent pink with swirls of orange, light blue and purple weaving in and out in perfect harmony. Dull. Insignificant. This sunrise was no more beautiful then those that I'd been gazing upon for nearly a century now and all this was is a painful reminder that I was to tough it through another painful day of which Bella was no more then a mere name to me. I yearned for more. To touch her again. I was afraid now. It'd been so long since I'd been near. What if this had a large affect on what I was capable of doing around her?

What should that matter anyway. She was gone from me. She'd forgotten everything about me, about Forks. I shouldn't be acting so selfish. I wasn't the only one hurt from her heartbreaking decision. I was just the only one who wouldn't believe it. The one who's denial stood out in bright radiance to the rest.

I doubled over in the broken pain Bella had formed in my torso as the dam overflowed and began drowning me in water I couldn't release. I choked and coughed, though I know this was useless. I only wished I could truly drown, that would be one way out of this rathole. I took off running again, letting me feet control my location as I drew nearer to where I shouldn't be allowing myself. I would destroy what I'd made for her and then destroy what I had been for her. I would never bother my family with my pain, nor would I persist on Bella remembering me. What was the difference between her being dead and not remembering me or _anything_ about Forks? This would hurt, but not as much as if I knew that there was still yet another thing that _I _would remember but not her.

I didn't care anymore.

Pain was no more then a word that could never explain what I was being put through


	34. Chapter 32 Never

_A/N-thank u everyone who's been reading my story, you guys are all amazing. here's the last chapter for you. hope you enjoy it:) leave reviews if you do, i'd love to know what you thought of my fanfic:) If u likedd this fanfic then check out my profile, I have three other fanfics that I've written and if u enjoyed my writting then they might be entertaining to u. The two that should be expecting frequent updates are **Mistakes Happen** and **Edward's Reason.** If they entertain u in the slightest, please leave a review:) Enjoy my last chapter of Unfamiliar Touch: **Never**_

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**BPOV**

I stood at the curb tapping my foot impatiently, my arms crossed tightly across my chest trying to hold in what little heat hadn't yet escaped into the rain. In my haste I'd forgotten my rain jacket and I now regretted my carelessness, but there was no way I was going to risk going back inside to get it. Alice– judging by my memory on how the Cullens drive– would be here in seconds. I only hoped that that would be fast enough.

I slowly detached my hands from the death grip they had on my sides and stretched them forward, welcoming the cold rain onto the palms of my hands. I slowly rose my arms from in front of me to over my head. I paused, letting the rain engulf what was left dry on my sleeves. I shivered but didn't move my arms. I gradually tilted my head back so that I could keep my eyes open without getting a bucket of water poured into them. It was beautiful. The sky was full of purplish clouds and crystal, tennis balls came splashing down onto me. It felt absolutely indescribable how great it was to look up and _remember_ everything. Especially that part that I loved it here.

I felt my body beginning send shivers racking through my body as the rain quickly soaked me to the bone. I wasn't going to put my arms down, to let go of this beautiful feeling of memory with a giant bubble clouding up my mid-section. Besides, after what I'd done, how many people I'd hurt, I deserved a little pain myself. After what I'd put Edward through.

The sound of an engine running at a speed that was far too fast for this road broke me out of my reverie. I lowered my arms and wrapped them around my chest as a shiny, silver Volvo pulled against the curb in front of me, the passengers side facing me. I recognized this car, Edward's car! I beamed proudly. My memory really was he to stay. The door swung open.

"Get in!" A luring soprano voice sang angrily from inside the car. The voice sounded like a finely tuned flute playing an angry part in a song. I smiled as I recognized who was speaking to me.

"Alice!" I crooned happily, leaping– or falling– into the seat. I hoped Edward wouldn't mind that I was getting the car seat wet. I looked up at Alice as I pulled the door close. "He won't mind . . ." I voiced, letting my voice fade as she threw me an exasperated look.

"Of all the things to worry about right now!" She snapped, turning her head back to the front. I couldn't tell if she was really watching the road or just using it as an excuse not to look at me.

I sighed. "Alice, where is he?" I asked, trying my hardest to reign in a state of authority and calmness in my voice. All I could manage was to keep the desperate plead from overriding everything else. She inhaled deeply, a thing that I knew she didn't need to do. Oh no. Did he change his mind? Did he go with the decision of . . . no I wouldn't, couldn't, allow myself to think that. To even consider that.

"He's at the meadow." she responded slowly through clenched teeth as her eyes glazed over. I waited as patiently as I could for her to finish whatever she was seeing. I _needed_ to know why this was such a bad thing.

"He's doing it some serious damage," she explained as her eyes regained their focus on the road in front of her. Her teeth unclenched and she continued. "We have a grand total of roughly ten minutes before he books it. He knows I'll have seen him by now and he wants to be clear of here before I come looking for him." Her head whipped to face me so fast there was no motion. "I can only take you so far Bella. Once he hears me he's out."

I nodded after each syllable, slowly letting the words register to my newly recovered mind. I felt something chewing at my heart. How could I have done this to Edward? How could I have _doubted_ him! Well, okay if I hadn't remembered him and I'd been told he was my boyfriend I would never believe that. But Charlie, Carlisle, Esme! Why didn't they tell me?! Did they really dislike us together that much that they wouldn't tell us that we were meant to be together? I couldn't focus too hard on that, something about what Alice said was bothering me.

"Where's he going, Alice?" I demanded quietly, not quite positive I wanted to know. I looked over to Alice when she didn't respond. She kept her face forward and expressionless.

"He's a little prone to overreacting." She whispered in response. I started hyperventilating.

"He, no he wouldn't!" I felt like I should have been screaming in outrage but I could manage no more then a weak plead. I fell forward and slammed my head into my knees as breathing became a hassle.

"Bella!" Alice exclaimed as I dropped my head to my knees. A cold hand reached over and gently rattled my shoulder. My teeth shook, but I failed to move. "Bella, we can stop him. Don't worry, please."

My head snapped up and I narrowed my eyes at her. "You're telling me _not_ to worry when Edward is going to destroy our meadow and then possibly _kill_ himself because of what I did!" I snapped, my voice breaking over into hysterics. I raised my eyebrows expectantly, daring her to tell me yes.

Alice sighed and inhaled deeply as the car jolted to a stop. She leapt out without a word and was over at my door in an instant, throwing it open. "Come on." she demanded holding out her arms for me. I would have protested, but I knew how little time we had. I slid out of my seat and into her hard, cold arms without a word. She broke into a sprint into the woods I knew so well.

"I'm taking you about half a mile away." she informed me as the trees flashed by. I would never have guessed we were running if it wasn't for the breeze that brushed my air away from my face. I remembered that this was how it had always been, that I'd once been scared of this. "He can hear me though, but he's in no condition to move right away." I winced at the sound of how much pain I'd put him in. I would never forgive myself. "Can you _please_ try to run there and _not_ trip. Bella, do you think you can do that?"

I groaned quietly to myself. I hated how I was such a klutz and most likely was going to end up tripping over some pebble. I took a deep breath and nodded, trying to muster up some confidence. "I'll try." I whispered.

She nodded as her eyes glazed over and she started to slow to a walk. "You should get there fine, if you just go straight." she informed me as she placed me upright. "Edward's so undecided, I can't tell you much about what he's going to do." Her eyes refocused and she looked down at me, her eyes anxious. "Well go!"

I instantly took off, nodding slightly as I started to run in the direction she'd pointed me in. I felt like I was racing against some time bomb that was edging just seconds away from exploding and killing not only me, but someone who's life was just so much more important. I was well aware of the roots and leaves and small growth that was surrounding my feet like a mime field and I was shocked that I wasn't so much as tripping over them as I sprinted at a speed I'd never ran before. I was breathless, my lungs burning as they longed for air, but I wasn't stopping. I wasn't allowing the tiredness in my legs to grow noticeable, all I was paying attention to was the gray light that I could see in front of me. It drew closer as my feet sped me towards the clearing.

A loud crash echoed through the trees, receding from the clearing in front of me. I winced, remembering how Alice said he was doing some serious damage to our meadow. I continued to sprint, throwing the green growth aside as I made my way towards the source of the noise, the light and _Edward_. I knew that the noise was all because of the pain I'd caused him. I was never going to forgive myself.

I burst through the final trees . . . and ducked! A tree twice the size of me was flung over my head to where I'd just broken through. I couldn't get up, I was breathing too hard, my lungs on fire and my legs numb from overexertion. I looked up pathetically to locate the man that had just thrown the tree at me and met the black eyes of someone who I hadn't seen in too long a time.

"Edward!" I cried weakly, my whisper barely audible. No one else could have heard it, of course Edward did. He paused, a tree above his head. He looked at me, his eyes widening and his eyebrows rising in disbelief. He dropped the tree to his side and froze, indecision in his eyes. He took a step towards me and I would have closed the distance myself had I been able to move. He paused again and looked around, I allowed my eyes to wander too.

The meadow was completely destroyed. All the wildflowers were unearthed and there was only dirt in the spots where they'd once been. All the trees that had surrounded the meadow in a perfect circle were torn from the ground and thrown around random places in the meadow, some had even been thrown at other trees and caused them to fall into the meadow. I doubted that, even if it wasn't pouring out, that I'd be able to even hear the brook anymore. This had once been so beautiful, now it was a mere reflection of Edward's pain. I looked down in shame. It stung.

Suddenly a growl was emitted from Edward, I looked up in surprise. He had conflict raging in his eyes and he looked down at me with the same disbelief as before. He stood one more minute before he turned and squatted like he was ready to take off in the fastest sprint he'd ever run. Did he not believe it was really _me_?

"Edward, no!" I yelled as loudly as I could. I didn't hesitate when he did, I began rambling everything I remembered that would _prove _that I remembered. "You're a vampire, so is Alice and Jasper and Carlisle and Emmett and Rosalie and Esme." I said the first thing I could think of. Edward straightened up but did not turn, so I continued. "You read minds, and Alice, she can see the future. Jasper can control people's emotions." He still didn't turn around so I kept to my rambling. "Your last name was Masen and you had green eyes before you were changed when you were seventeen." I sighed in relief as he slowly turned now. He looked at me, his eyes still echoing disbelief. "I came to Forks because I didn't want to keep Renee from Phil and I hated it here. . . until I met you."

Edward's eyes softened a little, along with the rest of his expression. He took a small step towards me and then stopped. I could still see the conflict in his eyes that were battling on whether I was really here or not. I gulped and worked to locate some authority along with my voice.

"And I love you Edward Cullen."

It happened so fast I'm not sure I couldn't recall any movement that occurred before I was resting in the cold stone arms of the vampire that I loved. He raised me from the ground and pulled me into his chest, his face exploding with emotion, the kind of emotion that had been locked away in my bubble. I'm sure that if he could cry then he would be, I was. He held me so close that I was only inches away from his beautiful face. I stared into his black eyes, feeling worse then before.

"I'm so sorry Edward." I whispered. He raised a finger to delicately wipe away a tear that had escaped my eye. That only made them come faster and I fought back the sobs that threatened to overtake my body. I didn't need to cry right now, I needed to apologize, to make up for how I managed to forget the one thing that mattered. The tears came out as fast as the rain now, Edward bent his head and kissed them away.

"Don't cry love." he crooned gently, pulling back a little to look me full in the face. "You're back now, that's all that matters." He placed his lips on mine and I realized how much I had truly missed him. I allowed my lips to form to his and felt my willpower melt away as I threw my arms around his neck, preparing to never let go again. My heart sped up, my lungs burned for oxygen, almost as if I were running again. He chuckled against my lips and pulled back.

"And I promise you I'm never leaving you again." I vowed, my whisper full of authority. I looked him full in the eyes, for once holding my own in the battle of who could melt the others will simply by looking into their eyes. Edward always won. A breathtaking smile spread across his face and he pressed his lips to mine yet again.

He pulled away and his smile grew.

"Never."

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_A/N- awhhhh thee enddd:) if u liked this story please either review or check out my new fanfics, **Edward's Reason, Mistakes Happen and Endless Night.** I'd love to hear your opnions on my stories, I want to improve!!!!_


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